Page 48 of Losing his Daddy

Wild eyes met mine. “You’re home.”

I wanted to bask in the fact that he considered it his home to. I loved knowing he was comfortable here in every way.

But I couldn’t ignore the proof of his anxiety.

“Gerald.” I eased closer to him. “Talk to me.”

He shifted away to go stir something at the stove. I didn’t want to catch him off guard near a hot pan, which meant I had to wait the minute it would take for him to change course.

Sure enough, he turned and ran straight into my chest. He made an ‘oomph’ noise, then peered up at me.

“I need to get to that.” He pointed to something behind me.

Ignoring his protest, I moved to the stove and turned the burners off one by one. I then tugged him out of the kitchen to the living room. He barely fought me, proving just how far gone he was.

When I eased down onto the couch, I didn’t hesitate to bring him with me. As I settled him on my lap, I waited patiently for him to say something. He could have complained about meholding him so tight or about me stopping the cook-fest he had going on in the kitchen.

It took several minutes of me rubbing his back for the knot in his shoulders to loosen. I felt the weight of him build as he let go of his tight rein.

“I don’t understand why I feel this way,” he asked brokenly.

“How do you feel?”

He turned his face into my chest and nuzzled. “I’m confused. I… I don’t know why I’m torn up about it.”

I hummed, waiting to see if he’d piece it together himself. Meanwhile, I kept myself relaxed and continued to give him the support he needed. Gerald had gone so long without truly having a Dominant in the way he needed. He functioned so much better with a strict schedule and a set of rules to follow.

Beyond that, he thrived with praise. I’d been careful about it before, each time keeping things to a minimum. I wouldn’t any longer. Holding him in my arms, hearing the anguish in his voice — I wanted nothing more than to help him through it. I’d promised him we’d take things slow, which I still intended to do. But taking it slow didn’t mean he couldn’t experience more of the benefits of being my submissive.

“It makes sense for there to be confusion. Having someone show up out of the blue like that would jar anyone. Add in everything else, and it’s no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed.”

He gave a slight nod as he fisted my shirt. “I don’t like being overwhelmed. I wish I could push it all away. I want to let go.”

“Is that why you managed to start a catering company in our kitchen?”

I felt his body shake against mine. With delight, I realized he was laughing.

“I didn’t mean to. Normally, preparing food helps soothe me when I feel jittery. It didn’t work this time. I thought making more would help, but…” His voice trailed off.

An idea hit me. I didn’t know if he’d find it odd or not, but it was worth giving a try. Maybe it would also help him see that I’m not here to rush him in any way.

“I would like to try something new. Something I think that might help you feel like you’re getting that same outlet cooking gave before.”

He made a subtle noise of agreement. “That would be nice.”

I gave a nod. “Yes, it would; however, it requires a bit more of your trust. And maybe even more understanding that this would purely be experimental. I want to help you find all the pieces and parts of your submissive ways. It could wind up being uncomfortable for you. If it is, you only need to tell me to stop.”

“No special words or colors?” I could hear the teasing in his tone.

“Not right now. Simple will keep things from being complicated. Besides, you’d have all the control in the situation.”

With my admission, he leaned back to look up at me. We’d been in a similar position before, that day he shut down because of Clancy’s birthday. Even back then I longed to kiss him, to take his lips with my own. I felt the same urge return, though I kept my focus on the discussion.

“What did you have in mind?”

I kept our gazes locked as I explained, “We would go into my room, where you would then undress me and prepare a shower. From there, you could either leave me to shower alone while you gathered clothes for me to lounge in around the apartment, or, if you were up to it, you could join me in the shower to personally make sure I’m clean.”

His breathing picked up.

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