Page 7 of Losing his Daddy

I spent every day after building up the ranch to be something I was proud of. Every season that passed when I could bring on more help, I did. The first hire I brought on was also a widower. He told me his wife had encouraged him to travel somewhere he could help others.

“Figured a ranch was that place,” Paul had said.

When he went to town to get feed one day, he met Morgan, a runaway barely older than eighteen who looked close to starvation. Brought him home and made him sit at the counter to eat a sandwich while he watched.

I asked him why, and he said this was part of the helping people thing. He said I had more than enough space to housepeople who might need it. It only took me looking around the land from the view on the back porch for me to see his point.

From that day forward, I opened my home to those in need. Whether it was a month or many years, I offered them a place to settle down. It was my way of using what I’d been left to do something good. Even after Paul passed away, and I was left to lead things alone, I didn’t waver.

Which was good because Gerald showed up not too long after, eyes full of pain and distrust. He was worth every minute of the years before him, worth every bit of pain I’d experienced to get to him.

Before Gerald, I didn’t think I’d ever find love again. Getting close to him proved me wrong. What I thought was a friendship forming turned into love so quick, I blinked one day to find myself head over ass for the man.

I wanted to be around him all the time. His smile was my favorite thing to see each day. I consulted with him on everything, both ranch and personally related. He was in every version of the future I imagined.

One day I asked him to come into the house to help me with something. After I got what I needed and came back to the kitchen where he was waiting, he looked so dejected. He admitted that he thought I’d called in him inside for something more.

I’d put down the thing I’d gone to get — though I couldn’t remember what that thing was — and kissed him. Subconsciously, I guess I knew what I wanted before my brain got on board.

That kiss led to others. Within weeks, we were spending nights together in my bed. Months later, he’d moved most of his clothes over. Our love story was one I hadn’t expected but was thankful for, nonetheless.

And now it was ending.

Fate had taken the gift we’d been given and set it aflame before us. Dr. Ramsey came back with a solid terminal diagnosis. There was nothing they could do. Not even the medical trials applied to my case any longer.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell them the truth?” Gerald asked me as we pulled down the drive to the ranch.

It felt good to be home, even if I didn’t really physically feel all that much better. My extended hospital stay was the longest I’d ever been away from home during one long stretch. I can say I didn’t enjoy it much. Hospitals are too loud and bright. Give me the sounds of Mother Nature and an open field instead.

“I’m sure. There’s no need to upset them on Christmas Day.”

That was the other kicker in all this. I got released on a holiday, which meant my return would put a damper on the activities Travis and the others had surely planned. Gerald told me it would be fine. I still had doubts.

Of course, the minute I climbed out of the truck, I realized how dumb I was being. The men I’d called my family showed up with exuberance to welcome me home.

I gave hugs to those that wanted them, then made my way inside with a bit of help from Gerald. Try as I might to convince him to let me go, he refused. Even if it killed him, I knew he wouldn’t let me go through anything else alone. Not ever again.

Once we were settled, the men got back to the celebrations of the day. I watched it all in awe, appreciating getting to have this final memory to give them.

I didn’t know what happened to us after we passed. I hoped there was something on the other side, some destination where our loved ones waited with open arms for us. If so, I couldn’t wait to reunite with all those I’d lost. But if not, then I needed to make sure the ones I left behind would have stories to share long after I wasn’t here.

While the day wore on, I noticed Travis and Holt’s closeness. It was obvious the two had found a connection in the midst of the chaos my diagnosis had brought to the ranch. When Holt moved into the kitchen to clean up, I slowly rose to follow him.

“I’ll be right where you can see me,” I told Gerald when he stood to go with me. He pouted at my denial for his help, though he did as I asked of him.

In the kitchen, Holt turned the second I leaned against the door. Granted, I wasn’t trying to sneak up on him or anything, but it was uncanny how in tune he was with everything. Reminded me a lot of my boys.

I saw him look past me, likely to where Gerald was watching me like a hawk. The smirk he wore told me I was right.

“You’d think he’s the boss of me with the way he’s manhandling me. Now I know how he’s felt all these years.”

My words put him at ease enough for me to do the ‘what are your intentions’ talk about Travis. I’m sure the others would have probably said something, but since they all knew my relationship with the youngest ranch hand was the strongest, I suspected they didn’t.

Holt assured me he only wanted the best for Travis. He was in love with him. I knew it before he even admitted his feelings to me. I eased his worry over it being too fast by explaining how my relationships had evolved quicker than most would consider proper.

By that point in the conversation, I felt good about everything. I still had loads to prepare given my imminent demise, but this was one less item on the agenda.

I was preparing to go back to my seat when Holt hit me with a probing question of his own.

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