Page 51 of A Sinner's Truth

I need to tell him. He’s really excited about the wedding, though. And every time I open my mouth to tell him what I’ve done, to tell him we need to end things, the words get trapped in my throat. I can’t break his heart. I do love him. I just don’t think I’m in love with him anymore.

Iclose the journal. “Fuck you!” I yell at the tombstone. I gave her my whole fucking life and she did this? I loved her. I thought I did everything right, and she was having an affair right under my fucking nose.

I’ve spent the last year and a half mourning a lie, missing a goddamn fucking lie. My whole life was a lie. For what?

“A fucking cop, Shelli?” I want to burn this fucking journal, but I can’t stop myself from reading all about how my fiancée fell in love with a goddamn pig in a uniform.

Gio said she was the reason Gabe got caught up in all that legal trouble. The reason my brother spent a year of his lifebehind bars. I don’t know what I did wrong. What the fuck didn’t I do for her?

We’d been together since we were teenagers. She was right, though. I never would have left my family. I’d never leave my brothers. I remember the few times she brought up running away together. I always thought she was joking. I never once believed she was seriously asking me to leave my family for her.

A body fills the space next to me. I don’t need to look to know it’s Aria. I don’t know how she found me. She shouldn’t be around me right now. “You need to leave. Go home, Aria.”

“Are you coming home with me?” she asks.

“No.” I can’t even look at her. I’m supposed to help this woman fake a marriage for the next twelve months. How the fuck can I do that if I couldn’t even keep my real fiancée happy?

“Then I’m good right here,” Aria says.

I’m staring at Shelli’s tombstone. The words ‘fiancée of Santo De Bellis’ taunt me. She wasn’t mine. If she was, she wouldn’t have fucked someone else. She wouldn’t havefallen in lovewith someone else.

“I can’t be what you need,” I tell Aria.

“You can’t or you won’t?” she asks me.

I turn and look at her. Her strawberry-blonde hair hangs loose over her shoulders. I reach up and tuck the strands behind her ear. So fucking soft. Her hair is always so fucking soft. “I will end up destroying you.” It’s the truth.

“Does it matter if you do? I mean, sometimes the journey that leads to the destruction is worth it,” she says. “It’s not always about the ending, Santo. Sometimes it’s about the beginning and the middle.”

I turn my attention back to the tombstone. “She had an affair,” I whisper. “With a fucking cop, and I didn’t know. Never suspected a fucking thing.”

“That’s not on you. You can’t control what other people do.”

Aria’s so fucking innocent and naïve. My whole world is about controlling what other people do. Making sure they all do exactly what I want them to do. “I should have known.”

“People do shitty things, Santo. I didn’t know Shelli, but I know you. And you’re a good person. Whatever she did isn’t a reflection of you. It’s on her,” Aria says.

I’ve let myself be consumed by guilt for the last couple of days because of the way I want Aria. I thought I was betraying Shelli. Joke’s on me I guess, because she broke us first. “You need to leave, Aria.”

“No.” She shakes her head from side to side.

“I’m trying to do the right thing here, darling. I need you to protect yourself, because I can’t protect you from myself,” I warn her.

“W-what do you mean? You’re not going to hurt me, Santo,” she says.

“No, I’m not. What I am going to do is pick you up, sit your pretty little ass on top of that grave marker, and fuck you like I’ve wanted to since the moment you fell into my lap,” I tell her.

Aria’s eyes widen. “You don’t mean that. You’re just trying to get me to leave,” she says.

“You have five seconds. If you don’t get up and walk away, I’m taking your staying as consent that you want me to fuck you right here, right now.”

“We’re in public,” she gasps while her eyes flick around.

It’s dark, and we’re in the middle of a cemetery. No one is going to see us. Not that I’d give a fuck if they did.

When Aria doesn’t move, I do. Picking her up and sitting her ass on top of the stone before spreading her legs open and stepping between them. My hand fists her hair, pulling on the strands to tilt her head backwards. I don’t let her think about what’s happening as I drop my lips onto hers. My tongue pushes into her mouth, and Aria’s arms wrap around my neck. She givesback every bit of the need I give her. I fucking love kissing her. I never liked kissing this much before.

I guide my hand up her thigh. “Are you wet for me, darling?” I ask while nibbling on her bottom lip.

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