Page 38 of A Sinner's Truth

“Okay, but we actually are married, Santo. And it didn’t mean anything anyway, right?”

“Right,” I repeat.

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t like. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Aria says.

“I know,” I tell her, even though I feel like all of this is wrong.

“I know this arrangement is to help me, but maybe it can help you too.” Aria sits next to me on the bed.

“How so?”

“I know this is going to end in a year. I accept that. I’m not going to become some weird stage-five clinger or anything. I don’t expect you to fall in love with me, nor do I want you to.” Aria’s face reddens a little when she says this. “But I think we could use this year to… explore… with each other.”

“Explore?” I raise an eyebrow, despite having a pretty solid idea as to what she’s suggesting.

“Sexually,” she says quietly. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I get it. I just thought maybe we could work on that guilt that’s eating you alive. And maybe when the year is up, you’ll be able to move on and find love again.”

The thing is, I don’t want to find love again. I’ve had it. I don’t fucking want to feel that kind of loss a second time around. “You want to explore sex? You don’t like sex.”

“I don’t, but I’ve also never had a guy give me an orgasm before either. Maybe you were right and I just haven’t had sex with the right person.” Aria shakes her head. “It’s a stupid idea. Forget I said anything.” She moves to stand up, and I reach out and grab hold of her wrist to stop her.

“It’s not a stupid idea.”

“It’s not?”

I shake my head. “It’s not.” I push off the bed and stand in front of her, my eyes focused on her lips. My heart races. I’ve never kissed anyone other than Shelli. Can I really do this? I guess I’m about to find out. “I met Shelli when I was thirteen. I haven’t… done this with anyone other than her,” I admit.

Aria’s eyes widen. “You really are a nice guy under that tough exterior, aren’t you?”

“The things in my head right now—the things I want to do to you—are not nice, Aria,” I tell her.

“Show me,” she says.

My lips slam onto hers. My hand cups the back of her head and my fingers pull on the wet strands of her hair as I tip her back. Pushing my tongue into her mouth and swirling it around. She tastes like toothpaste. Minty and something that is uniquely her. It’s intoxicating. I pull her body harder against mine.

Aria’s arms wrap around my neck, and she tugs me closer. I swallow her moan before I pull back. Reluctantly. I don’t want to stop kissing her. My gaze drops to her now-swollen lips. And, damn it, I want more.

“Wow,” she whispers.

Wow, exactly.I’m so confused. “What are you doing to me?” I ask before I realise I’m speaking aloud.

“I don’t know,” she replies.

I wait for the guilt to kick in. And as if on cue, it hits me. But before I can drown in it, Aria smiles at me.

“It’s okay,” she says, stepping back.

It’s not okay. None of this is okay. “How much stuff do you want to bring home?” I ask her.

“We could stay here,” she suggests for a second time. “I mean, you don’t need to buy a place just for us to play house. We can just stay here.”

“It’s not safe enough here. Remember? Besides, it’s about time I buy a place of my own. El has some listings she wants to show us tomorrow. Choose whatever you want, and I’ll make a cash offer so we can get the property quicker.”

“It’s your house, Santo. You choose it,” Aria tells me.

“It’s our house. And, honestly, I’ll probably just sell it after the twelve months are up anyway.” I don’t intend to keep a house I bought with another woman.

“Did you meet Drew?” Aria asks, throwing the conversation in a different direction.

---