Page 1 of A Sinner's Truth

Chapter One

One year ago

My vision blurs, a side effect of the whiskey I’m drinking like it’s a fucking lifeline. Because right now, it is. It’s the only way I can see her. And I need to see her face. I need to talk to her.

Shelli, my fiancée. My dead fiancée. I held her beaten, broken, lifeless body in my arms for the entire night. Praying for a miracle. I kept waiting to wake up, certain that it had to be a nightmare. Why would anyone take her from me? Especially the night before our wedding. They didn’t just take her, though. They took our unborn child.

We’d just discovered Shelli was a few weeks pregnant. We were over the moon about starting our life together as a family of three. And now, that dream is dead and buried six feet under. Except she’s not. She’s still here. I can see her.

“I need you to come back,” I tell her.

“I can’t do that, Santo,” Shelli says. Her expression sad and sweet at the same time.

“Gio got married. It was meant to be us.” I’ve put on a smile all fucking day. I’ve held my own shit in for the sake of my older brother. He’s happy, and I want him to be happy. He deserves it. And his bride, Ellie… She’s perfect for him.

It fucking hurts that I didn’t get this. I imagined what it would be like. Our first dance, the first time I kissed Shelli as my wife. There was supposed to be a forever of firsts for us. And seconds. And thirds.

That’s the thing about forever, though. It’s not fucking real. A fairy tale that’s sold to us. All the concept of forever does is get people’s hopes up, only to destroy us right down to our souls.

“Santo, you need to dig,” Shelli says. “You need to know the truth.”

“The truth about what?” I ask her. I hear the door to my room open. I don’t need to look behind me to know it’s one of my brothers.

Gabe is standing at the end of the bed. I’m sitting on the edge. Afraid to move. Afraid if I make the slightest gesture to reach out to her, to touch her, she’ll disappear again. “Santo, you good?” he asks.

I turn and glance at my younger brother. “Shelli’s here. Come and say hello, Gabe. She’s back,” I tell him before returning my gaze to Shelli. She’s still so beautiful. With long brown hair, pale green eyes, and skin like porcelain.

“Hi, Shelli,” Gabe says, lowering himself beside me on the bed. He sees her too. I’m not going fucking crazy. For weeks, I thought it was just me…

“She’s come back,” I tell Gabe.

“Yeah? Did she say why she left?” he asks.

The relief I was feeling is gone in an instant. “No. Why’d you leave, Shelli?” I question her.

“I didn’t want to, Santo. I didn’t choose to leave you. You need to dig. Find the truth,” she repeats.

“What’d she say? I didn’t hear her,” Gabe presses.

“She said she didn’t want to, but it’s okay because she’s back now,” I tell him. It’s going to be okay. She’s back. Whatever happened was all just some fucked-up dream. And now she’s back.

“Oh, good. Maybe you and Shelli should get some rest, mate. We’ve got a plane to catch in a few hours.” Gabe stands from the bed.

“Yeah, good idea.” My body falls backwards as exhaustion finally takes over. “Make sure Gio knows Shelli’s coming home.”

My head thrums as the plane touches down on the tarmac. I drank myself into oblivion last night. This morning? Whatever day it is or was. It was worth it, because I saw her. I’ll keepdrinking myself to a slow death if it means I’m one day closer to being with her again.

I don’t want to die, despite what everyone thinks. I know Gio has me on suicide watch. It’s why there’s always at least one of my brothers lurking around me 24/7. The thing is, I wouldn’t do that to them. I live and breathe for my brothers.

I fucking love Shelli, without question, and the pain that’s consuming me from her loss is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever felt. It’s a pain I’d never willingly put onto my brothers. So their constant babysitting is pointless.

I wonder who gets the lucky job of watching me today? They’ve been taking turns, almost like a roster system has been put in place. I wouldn’t put it past Gio. He’s nothing if not prepared for any situation.

The moment I step off the jet, I head for the back of the second blacked-out SUV. Marcel climbs in next to me. Guess that answers my question. “What’s on the agenda today?” he asks.

“Sleep,” I groan as I lean back against the headrest. I need to fucking sleep. And then I need to drink until I see her again. I need to talk to her. I don’t understand what she wants. What she wants me to dig up… What truth she is fucking talking about or what good it will do me now.

Shelli was always too innocent for this life. I should have kept my distance from her. I thought I could protect her. Keep her safe. I didn’t know the threat to her would be so fucking close to home, though. It’s my fault she’s not here. It’s my fault I can’t see her beautiful smile, hear her laughter. It’s my fault our child was taken from this world before it even got the chance to be born.

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