Page 14 of A Sinner's Truth

“Can’t you just yell at me and tell me what a fuckup I am?” I groan and then swallow the contents of the glass.

“I want to, but I’ve learnt some things over the past year. And, well, it wasn’t your fault, Santo. Honestly, you were too good for Shelli. You deserve better. Go and find better.”

“What?” I’m not even close to drunk. I didn’t mishear her, but why the fuck would she think I’m too good for her sister?

“I didn’t mean that. I just… I’m mad at her. I miss her and I love her, but sometimes I’m just so angry at her for doing what she did,” Kristen says.

“What did she do?”

“You really don’t know, do you?” Kristen asks, shaking her head. “It’s just sister stuff. Go home, Santo. Find a way to forgive yourself so you can move on.”

I want to argue with her, get her to tell me what it is that I don’t know. I gave up trying to figure out what it was that Shelli’s ghost kept telling me to find. I put it down to my own conscience looking for a way to hold on to her, anything to not believe that she was really gone.

I’ve accepted that she’s gone and not coming back, though. I haven’t seen her in over a month. I purposely don’t drink as much. It hurts. It’s like letting go of her. But I’ll never be ableto let go of her fully. She has my soul with her, buried six feet beneath the ground.

This wasn’t our time, but maybe the next life will be. Maybe in our next life, I won’t be who I am. I’ll come from a normal family. A safe family, one where my own father doesn’t murder my fiancée.

Chapter Eight

If ever there was a time for the world to open up and swallow me whole, now would be it. Humiliation fills every core of my being as the events of last night hit me. And they hit mehard.

What on earth was I bloody thinking, asking a complete stranger to marry me? And not just any stranger. No, I had to go and ask one of the notorious De Bellis brothers. I’ve heardof them. I’d be surprised if anyone in this city hadn’t heard the name before. And I’ve seen them, in tabloids, at charity galas and parties. But I’ve never spoken to any of them.

I don’t know what came over me. I’m blaming a mixture of desperation and alcohol. And he turned me down. Which intensifies my embarrassment tenfold. I don’t really put myself out there that much, and now I know why. I mean, he didn’t contemplate my offer for even a second. But why would he? He’s a De Bellis. Why on earth would he agree to marry me for a year?

“Why are you hiding under the covers?” Drew’s voice has me pulling the blankets off my face.

“Because I’m waiting for the world to swallow me whole,” I groan.

“What happened? Did you find a husband?” he asks.

“Worse.” I cover my face again. If I stay under the blankets, then maybe I can live in a fantasy world where last night didn’t happen.

“What happened?” The mattress dips as Drew sits on the edge. Then the blankets are being tugged off me.

“I proposed to someone and he said no,” I groan again.

“Okay, well, that’s kind of expected. I wouldn’t be jumping into a marriage if some random chick came up to me in a bar and proposed.” Drew shrugs like it’s no big deal.

“It wasn’t just anyone,” I whisper.

“Who did you propose to?”

“Santo De Bellis.” I close my eyes, not wanting to see the look on my best friend’s face.

“You proposed to a De Bellis? Yeah, that’s not happening, Aria. You know what that family does, don’t you?” Drew sighs.

“I know, but I thought he’d be perfect. Dad wouldn’t object. No one would. But it doesn’t matter. He said no,” I grumble.

“I think you dodged a bullet, probably literally,” Drew says. “Come on, let’s just go to your father and tell him it’s not happening.”

“I can’t. He won’t give me my trust if I do that.”

“I can give you money,” Drew offers.

“It’s not the money I want,” I remind him. Though I don’t have to. My best friend knows what I really want from my trust.

“I know, but there has to be another way,” he says.

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