Page 64 of Quarterback Sneak

“I’d won my first game and I was on an adrenaline high. Had coach not stepped in—” He surveyed the horizon and absorbed the beauty. That awful six years of his life had defined a lifetime of behavior and it proved almost impossible not to revert back to his old ways and pretend he could leave the past behind. He owed it to himself to break free of the pain and he could think of no better person to share his grief with than Ivy. “I thank the fates every day I didn’t turn out like Patrick. He was so busy obsessing over what he didn’t have, he couldn’t see what he did. I choose to do the opposite, not to spite my father as you might think, but because I want to embrace life. You’re right. I didn’t kill Patrick. In the end, he killed himself.”

Ivy gave up on trying to stop the flow of tears. She hadn’t expected this. Sam faced away from her, feet apart and back ramrod straight. He was an intimidating figure with his powerful form and dominant features that exuded masculinity. A man stood before her, but when he turned to meet her eyes, she spied a flicker of the child inside, scared and vulnerable.

“According to the police report, he died in a car crash. His car skidded off the road during an ice storm. After it happened, I found his suicide note. He said he blamed my mom for everything. He claimed she had turned me against him and she would have to live with his death on her hands for the rest of her life.”

She shook her head, unbelieving that someone could be so spiteful. “Your mother must have been devastated.”

“She never read the note. I destroyed it on principle. Sometimes you want to spare the people you love from heartache, and from pain. You think I am shutting you out. And I guess, in a way, I am. You have to understand, it’s not easy for me to confess that I need someone. I’m used to people needing me. It’s who I am.”

“It is the hardest thing in the world to ask for help.” Ivy understood all too well the sentiment. “Because you have to admit to a weakness. We all have weaknesses, and we all have our strengths.”

“And we all have our secrets. I’ve kept mind for so long, I’m not sure how good I will be at sharing them.”

She sauntered toward him and slipped her arms around his waist. “Little steps make great strides. See, I can be perky too.”

“Some parts, more than others.” He clasped her wrists and brought her body tighter to his.

She pressed her cheek to his back. While she desired nothing more than to lose herself to him, she had to ask the question utmost in her mind. “Do you blame yourself for his death?”

“For years, I questioned if my actions had pushed him over the edge. Then I took psychology classes in college and was able to see a pattern in the abuse/abused cycle. I was tired of being a victim of somebody else’s decision. Patrick drove himself off the road, the last act of a selfish man. And while I sympathize with him because he suffered from a mental disorder, ultimately he was responsible for his own fate. He made a conscious decision to take his own life.”

Ivy slid across his body, keeping contact until she was snuggled into his chest. Head bent back, she met his dark gaze.

He settled his forehead on hers and gave her a fleeting kiss. “I put a positive spin on that, didn’t I?”

She licked her lips and offered an exasperated smile. “Yes, you did. For once, I am fine with it. Tonight had to be hard on you in more ways than our fight. You didn’t have to go to the hospital with me. It had to be painful to see Beth and recognize that she and Aaron were walking in your parent’s shoes.”

“Her situation, in itself, was difficult in a lot of ways. I’d told you once, and I will tell you again. I will do anything for you Ivy. I love you. And if it takes bearing my soul to you, I will try my best. But I cannot promise it will be overnight.”

“I never expected a miracle.” Ivy sympathized with his reluctance to divulge his failures, either real or imagined. So many people depended on him and the knowledge had given him purpose. He was nothing like his father, nor did she think he ever would be. The cycle of abuse had stopped with Sam and she respected his determination to see the good in everyone. “There is nothing wrong with being positive. I only ask you share both the good and the bad with me. I do not care if you’re rich, or you’re a star jock. And frankly, I don’t like this house. Other than the pool, it’s so not you.”

“I agree.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “But we don’t have to worry about that. There is a foreclosure sign outside, remember?”

She punched him playfully in retaliation and beamed at him. “I remember. I also remember something else you said to me. And the answer is yes. I will marry you.”

“I don’t recall asking you.” He slid his hands further down her back until he cupped her butt.

“No you didn’t. You told me.” She bit the underside of his chin and licked the flesh to sooth it. “And I’m telling you how this is going to go down.”

He took two steps, forcing her to walk with him. Grinning, he twisted his body before he fell backward. It took her a millisecond to inhale before they plunged into the pool. Warm water cascaded over her head and she clung to him while she fell deeper into the depths of his love.

Sam kicked his feet and they sputtered to the surface. She giggled as the skirt of her dress floated around them.

“I thought I’d told you not to break my boy.”

Ivy snapped her head around, startled by the voice. Howler stood at the poolside, arms crossed and an amused smile on his lips.

“What you want, ass wipe?” Sam asked.

“For you to quit being a moron, but since it’s never going to happen, I thought I would deliver some good news for once.” Howler ran a hand through his dark hair and beamed at them. “San Francisco is still interested. Their talent agent watched the video Cassandra Smith took of you walking in the hospital without a cane. They are insisting on a physical, but at least they’re talking.”

“And if they’re talking, Miller will be hot on the trail too. Looks like things are finally looking up, douche.” Howler stretched and yawned. “I am heading home now so you two love birds can get back to whatever business you were getting too.”

“Thank you for stopping by and telling us. I appreciate all you have done tonight.” All of the pieces were falling into place for her and Sam. Her one regret was Beth. It would take a while to regroup and the only thing Ivy could do, was stand by her friend’s side and help her through the hard times.

“Not a problem. Just take care of my boy.” He disappeared into the house.

Sam slipped his hand under her skirt and lifted her high. She wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to run his tongue along the sensitive flesh of her collarbone.