Page 68 of Levi

“Your voice. What happened?” Addison replied calmly.

Kinley took a deep breath, knowing there was no point in hiding anything from Addison.

“It’s over between me and Levi,” she confessed.

“You told him you wanted to have kids, didn’t you?”

“Yes, he was so angry,” Kinley said sadly.

“I don’t blame him for being angry. You told him you were fine with not having kids,” Addison snapped.

“I was, but I’d love to have his children.”

“Kinley, you agreed not to have children. You had to know how he’d react.”

“What if Cody didn’t want kids?”

“I love him. I want kids too, but if he had a good reason for not wanting them, I’d still want him. Once you fall for someone, you make sacrifices. At least we’d be together. When Vivian told Grayson she might not be able to have a baby, he told her he could live without kids, but he couldn’t live without her. I feel that way about Cody.”

“I know. I told Levi about that too and I made the stupid mistake of telling him that’s how I felt. I’m so torn about this. I think Levi knew it was coming because after the competition, and I talked with that little girl, he stared at me and I could see the wheels turning in his head, and I was right because he brought it up before he walked out.”

“I love Cody very much and if he had issues like Levi and wanted to just be together, without children, I wouldn’t be thinking how much I want kids. I’d make the sacrifice for him.”

“Would you really have done that?”

“You know, honestly, I think I would have been disappointed if he didn’t want to have kids, but there would have to be a damn good reason for it. People can be together, and never have a family. You know what Levi’s reasons are. He’s too scared.”

“He’s been through so much. He has his own demons that I don’t know if he’ll ever overcome.”

“And you just added more to them. Do you want him in your life, or do you want to marrysomeone else just for the sake of being able to have children? I’m not saying go out and rush into a marriage with someone else; I mean meet another man who you fall in love with and want to have kids with. Will you look back on your past and wonder if you’d have been happier if you had been with Levi? Because, face it, Kinley, you’re not going to love anyone the way you love him.”

“Sometimes I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. You could easily move on and find another man, fall in love, get married, have kids, but will you always wonder if things could have worked out differently with Levi?”

“You know what? You’re wrong. Idohate you,” Kinley replied.

“I love you too. I gotta go now; we’re heading to dinner.” She hung up the phone.

Kinley sighed as she placed her phone back on the table. Maybe Addison was right. Did she need children to make her happy? She was happy with Levi, but what happened if they did get married and her cravings for a child came up? She’d lose him. She knew that as well as she knew her own name.

Kinley decided to give it some serious thought. Because no matter what had just happened between them, she knew she would always love him.

****

Levi drove home, cursing under his breath the entire way. He should have known this would happen. As he had told Kinley earlier, he had been in this situation before.

“Fucking hell. She knew,” he muttered to himself.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly, but eventually had to loosen his grip when his hands started to ache. The pain momentarily distracted him from thinking about Kinley.

Once he arrived at his place, he parked and sat in his car for a moment, staring out the windshield. “I am so done with relationships. It just leads to pain and heartache, and I’ve had enough of that to last me a fucking lifetime.”

With a deep sigh, he finally got out of the truck and slammed the door a little harder than necessary, then made his way into the house. After taking off his hat, he headed to his bedroom to change into a comfortable T-shirt and sweatpants. Hopefully, he could relax for the rest of the evening.

As the week began, he walked into the barn to start his tasks of cleaning and maintaining the stalls. He knew some of the ranch hands were out repairing the fence, while others were working on various projects around the ranch. They may have wondered why he wanted to work in the barn, but he assured them he would take care of it on this particular day.

He knew they didn’t mind being outside in the warm sun, whereas he could barely keep his eyes open after a sleepless weekend. He considered riding the fence but decided against it, afraid that he might fall off his horse due to his exhaustion.

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