Page 3 of Fall onto me

I pull him in for a hug. “What’s wrong?”

He shrugs, tugging his letterman. “Nervous for this final season. Rumor has it that scouts will be here for the last game of the year.”

“You’ve got this, man,” Foster sends words of encouragement, and it still freaks me out how nice to each other they are now.

I tilt my head. “That’s a good thing, right?”

He looks indifferent. “I guess? I don’t know. What if they don’t pick me, or what if they do?” Life has drained from him; he’s waited his entire life for this. For senior year, to be scouted.

“Well, if they do, you’ll be following a dream you’ve been working towards since elementary school.”

“I could be placed anywhere in America.” He frowns. “And Warren is here, helping his mom through the divorce and taking over the taxes and legal consult for the country club.” He has a look on him that reminds me of a reflection of myself, when I was in cheerleading solely for my mom’s benefit. She always wanted the perfect daughter, the flawless cheerleader with an idyllic future.

I wouldn’t say that my mom is as dangerous as my father, who is an abusive piece of shit, but she has her own flaws. I.e., like how she never stopped him.

It’s a trauma that I’m still battling to work around today, like when I would have to drop weight for our yearly photos so we would look like the ideal family. A photographer would come out, and after finishing with the hairstylist and make-up artist we would gather around one of the meticulously landscaped backdrops on our property or in our home to snap a few cheesy pictures.

We would smile and laugh as the photographer prompted us, but as soon as they left, my father, Kent, would retreat to his study, Mom to the kitchen for wine, and me to my room for peace. I wonder, because of this, if Brett is doing something that doesn’t make him have that smile of his. That All-American charm, is it real?

“Is being picked up something you want?” I put emphasis onyou, because at the end of the day it’s his life and if you’re not happy with yourself, your world will crumble around you.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I always thought so, and I enjoy playing…” he trails off. “But now that it’s here, I’m freaking out.”

I put my hand on his chest. “I think that you’re scared of starting something new, and we’re all feeling that.” I look over to Kate, and even though my version of life after school is completely uncertain thanks to the situation me and Foster are in, I can relate. “We’re going to graduate, and it’s scary as hell!” I laugh. “But I need you to take a deep breath, okay? We have our entire senior year to enjoy!”

“You’re right.” He peeks down at his phone. “I’m just happy I have Warren.” That charming grin returns, with that smile back, I don’t know how I could question if it was ever real. He’s just simply an endearing person, who wears his emotions on his sleeve.

I nod in agreement. When Brett and Warren told everyone they were dating, Warren’s parents were torn. His mom, Veronica, was instantly supportive. But his father, William, was vile, resulting in Brett being protective and punching Warren’s dad directly in the face.

Now, Warren’s mom kicked his dad to the curb and took over their family’s country club.

Brett’s parents were supportive; he’s their pride and joy, and they just want him to be happy.

But Warren Hollingsworth, my to-be fiancé, by my parents’ wishes was originally going to move to New York to start a law firm before all of this happened.

I interlace my fingers with Foster’s, allowing the butterflies to try and spring back to life. It’s not his fault they’re dormant; it’s the fear that slows their wings.

Now that I’m surrounded by friends, he can relax. We both know I’m not who TK wants anyways, but I think that thought scares me more. I wish I could bottle him up and put him in my pocket for safe keeping.

He leans down to kiss my forehead. “Meet me at shop class after you’re done, okay?”

I nod, making sure to hug him a little tighter before we head to first period. “I love you.”

“I love you, Shadow.”

That gets a collective ‘Aww’ from Brett and Kate, making Foster roll his eyes before disappearing down the crowded hall. I note the way his usually stoic, straight frame carries a slouch as he walks away. As if the moment he got away from me, he could breathe.

I don’t worry that’s because he doesn’t like me. I worry since it could mean he only cares about safety when he needs to protect me, and when I’m not around he doesn’t give a shit what happens to him. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, head hung low. It’s a far cry from the underground racer who fears nothing.

Kate slings her arm through Brett’s. “I think you’re just worried about the unknown of it all, but I promise you, it will all work out. Maybe you’ll get picked up by Florida!” she assures him.

He nods his head. “Maybe. Or maybe I won’t get picked up at all, or worse … someone like fucking Nebraska would want me.”

When Kate laughs, she tilts her head and lets out a carefree melody. “Well, I’m done with this emo Brett shit right now. Tonight, we party.”

They both look to me. “What?”

“You’re coming.” Brett grins.

---