Page 49 of Fall onto me

She pulls up the straw, licking a dollop of whip cream from the top. “What’s he going to do? He’s in jail.”

The way she says it makes me wonder how much she heard. “What did you hear me and Barnes talk about?”

She stops being so cocky and curls back into herself. “That a bad man put him in there.”

“So, you know he didn’t do anything, right?” It’s important for her to understand that.

“I know Foster would never risk leaving me.” She nods. “I wouldn’t believe anyone who told me differently.”

I pause, looking at this kid who has matured far beyond her years due to her circumstances. She lost her parents and nearly lost her life, but she fought. Hard. Now, her brother is in jail, and that has to be so confusing. “You’re right, it wasn’t his fault. But me walking you into that jail will make him sad, Sophie.”

“I know.”

“Does Grandma know?”

She slowly shakes her head. “I won’t tell.”

I don’t like all these secrets between us, but she can’t tell because Adeline will hire a lawyer, and they can’t afford to fight a case they’ll never win. “You really can’t. He’ll be out soon. Okay?”

“Okay.” She takes too long to say this word, the quiet sound makes the room grow smaller.

“How about instead of seeing him, we write a letter?”

“Promise you’ll give it to him?”

“Yes. I’m going to drop it off at the post office on my way home.” I wish I could see him, but with Sophie nearly blackmailing me into going, I think he’ll understand. My letter will go directly to Barnes, so that our names aren’t tied into any searchable records. I would give him Sophie’s, but he’s not going to appreciate that she knows, and I need to tell him that in person.

* * *

The past fewdays have been hell, with each and every visitation cancelled because apparently my boyfriend doesn’t want me to see him in jail.

A knock sounds on the door and I rush over. “Barnes!” I shout, grabbing his arm to drag him inside. He’s my new mailman, I knew that he could be a better middleman than waiting for our post office to get things back and forth.

We’re at his grandma’s house. I’ve been watching Sophie this week, partly so she’s not alone and the other half is waiting for him to send something.

I open the envelope addressed to Sophie, and inside sits two letters. One for her and one for me. On it says, ‘Give to Shadow.’

Before peeking at mine, I can’t help but look at hers. I only read the top line.

Sophie,

Hawaii is so pretty.

If only welived in a world where Sophie believed that. I take her letter and put it in my pocket, so she won’t have to see anymore lies from us. Once I see him tonight at six, I’ll tell him she knows.

I was only reading hers to hesitate, and now it’s my turn.

Shadow,

I need you to listen to me, baby girl.

Lay down at night and wear my hoodie.

Keep it on so you don’t get too cold without me, keep the air on low.

I’ll be missing you, as usual.

Better days will come.

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