Page 72 of In the Dust

Through the fallen ash and scorched earth, I ran. Over hills and through the stables, to her untouched grave that brings me solace.

But only for a moment, as I realize when we lose this place, we’ll have to leave her behind. I fall to my knees, clutching the headstone. A thought comes to me, about moving her, but I’m not digging up my momma.

This is her home.

But it’s not mine anymore, and not by choice.

What are we going to do?

“Dix?” Colton’s voice drawls behind me. He’s walking through the burnt forest, inching closer to me.

“Don’t take her!” I cry out, in hysterics. I haven't slept.

“Your dad called me. He’s worried.” I walk away from him. “Dixie, listen to me!” He finally grabs hold of my shoulders, stopping me. “Everything is going to be okay.”

Colton keeps repeating this as he carries me up to my bedroom and tucks me in, letting me cash in on some much-needed sleep.

But as I close my eyes, all I see is a blazing red fire that’s destroying everything in its path.

* * *

After Colton finisheswith his day working on what’s left of the farm and fixing some of the things that were destroyed, he heads up to my room. “We’re going out tonight. We all need it.” He kisses my cheek, the stench of the ranch heavy on him. I don’t even know why he’s still working out there, he knows we don’t have any money now that our harvest is gone.

“You stink,” I tease, trying to make the most out of the situation we’re in.

His fingertips brush my cheek. “Promise you’ll go?”

He’s worried about me because I’ve been locked in my room since the fire. It’s been three days, and I can’t bear to walk outside. I can’t fathom the idea that when I do, I won’t see mom’s studio.

“I was so excited to celebrate your birthday with you, and I have no plans of just acting like it didn’t happen.” He rips off his shirt, throwing it in the hamper. His body is long, tan, and muscular. I bite my lip. “Come shower with me,” he pleads.

I drop the book I’m reading on the bed, not caring that I didn’t mark the page I was on as I rush into the bathroom behind him.

* * *

Harper barrels into my room.“I’m so excited for tonight!” She dances around as I spritz on a spray of perfume.

I’m trying to hold it together, but I’m crumbling. The last thing I need is a night of partying, of celebrating, when all I can think of is how we’re about to lose not only our home, but our livelihood.

As she finishes dancing, she looks at me with a frown. “I’m so sorry, Dix.” She leans over, wrapping her long slender arms around me. “That’s what tonight is for, to celebrate your birthday and to get our mind off the bullshit,” she tells me, grabbing my hands when she sees the sadness in my eyes. “I know you lost her studio, but she’s always here. She’s everywhere, not just that studio.”

I don’t mention losing the farm as we head downstairs. “Hey, Burl!” She waves as we walk past the living room.

I look to Grandpa, who is unusually quiet tonight. He’s browsing the channels aimlessly while Dad sits on the sofa, thumbing through a magazine. “Do you want me to stay?” I ask Grandpa, leaning against the doorframe, but he shakes his head.

“Please go out and have fun.” He leans up in his chair. “But before I forget …” He reaches to the left side, pulling up a bag. “This is from me and Dad. We wanted to wait for things to settle before giving it to you.”

I bounce over. “What is it?”

Dad laughs. “Open it and find out.”

I pull out the white tissue paper, unveiling a small jewelry box. “This was Mom’s,” I breathe, running my fingers over the intricate wood carvings.

“I was going to give it to you years ago.” Dad grins. “But I was too worried you’d lose it in that tiny apartment of yours.” He won’t admit it, but he hated where I lived in the city. He was always worried about me. When he would come for a visit, he looked like a bull in a China shop. Out of place.

It’s how I felt too.

“I love it so much.” I hug it to my chest. This is exactly what I needed after the loss of the shed. “I can stay in tonight. Are you sure—”

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