I wake with a jolt, and when I look over at Grandpa’s sleeping frame, I relax.
His head is leaned back, like he was staring at the painting of him and Grandma before he fell asleep.
But he’s not snoring anymore.
I realize then as I hold his hand that he has left this earth and taken a piece of me with him.
“Grandpa?” I whisper into the air, my chest heaving. “Grandpa?” I cry out, watching as everything happens in slow motion when Colton and Dad rush into the room.
Maybe I woke up because I felt him go, felt the loss of his soul. The way that the world continues to spin, even when he’s not here. Everything feels wrong right now, but like Grandpa said, “Things always work out, Dixie May. Always.”
* * *
Death is confusingand difficult to understand.
But life, life is something tangible. Something you can grasp with your hands.
You can feel life when someone you love is near you, with a loving hug or asimple glance.
But with death, you feel the loss inside you. In your bones as it swirls around your soul.
I’m trying to understand why we lose those we love.
And while no one has the answers, I think we can all agreeit changes everything forever.
But I like to remember that without their love, we would never feel so much loss.
There are things that even death cannot touch, and that is love.