Page 2 of Crash into me

They’ve given me so many drugs that I haven’t been able to put coherent sentences together in my head.

The doctor tells them I may not remember anything.

Brain damage, they say.

But for now, I remember.

Foster’s back again; he’s beside me. His hand captures mine. I trace the outline of his tattoos in my mind, recalling how they look. Dark ink splattered and fine lined onto his olive skin.

I wiggle my finger, only it doesn’t actually move at all.

Foster would have commented on the movement; he always watches me meticulously. Taking care of every detail, brushing my hair and singing to me.

How long will I be like this?

When will I wake up?

Or am I already dead?

2

When I wake up, it’s not like I’m actually starting my day and rising. Life is now just the hauntingly familiar sight of the backs of my eyelids.

Pure darkness, endless darkness. It looks as though it stretches out for miles, spanning states and continents. But it’s so lonely here that the endless nothing is suffocating.

A never-ending journey into a blank space, devoid of anything and everything.

My senses have become alert, and right now it’s a new morning; they’re changing out my tubes. Now that I can’t see or move, I focus more on hearing and feeling.

Foster stretches. I can tell because he always yawns loudly. He stays the night every night. I wish he would go sleep in his comfy bed and take care of himself.

Sophie isn’t far away; he darts back and forth between us. We’re in the same room. I’m not sure how, but we are.

The morning rolls on, surrounded by Foster and Kate. Brett came by earlier, but he had to go to work.

The dance team swings by. The soothing sound of Charlotte’s southern draw lulls me, while Maria’s curious questions make me want to know the answers myself. They braid my hair, talk about what big production we should all do together once I recover.

Whenever my heartrate rises, they smother me in pain meds, thinking I’m hurting. It makes me fall in and out, and all I want desperately is to be in and aware.

Kate and Foster banter back and forth, which is funny. I’m so thankful for both of them because if they weren’t here, I’d be so, so alone.

I’m trying not to lose myself in my own mind. I don’t want to tumble like Alice, sliding into a world of wonder that may really be a nightmare.

I fear that if I fell down the rabbit hole, I’d never come back.

So, I’ll keep fighting.

* * *

Foster’s here now.His inked hands are wrapped around my limp ones.

“Skyler, you know those days where there’s perfect weather? When you’re riding and the breeze is blowing through your hair? The way the warm wind envelops you and makes you feel free, like you’re soaring?” He squeezes lightly, gripping me as much as he can. “You remind me of days like that.” He lays his forehead against my forearm. “Come back to me, baby.”

* * *

A dreamless sleepawaits me that night, surrounded by a comforting blanket of midnight to remind me of his eyes.

“Why is she here?” Kate barks, I wish I could see who she was referring to.

---