Page 32 of Guarded By Death

Pierce

Ihold her shaking body tight against my chest as I flip the bathroom light on. I have to get her out of this red dress. It was blue, oh my God, it was blue.

As the bathtub fills, I stare at her hollow expression, her eyes never meeting mine. Panic sweeps through me as guilt consumes my entire being. I never would have imagined she would see anything like that. I tried to protect her, I tried. It wasn't good enough. My better instincts told me I should have stayed away; I should have protected her from a distance. But I was selfish, and now she's paying the price.

She needs to recover from what she saw. The absolute horror in her eyes will forever haunt me to my core. While I was healing, I couldn't move. I'm fully aware of the motions of death. The pain and the feeling of losing your life are normal to me, but nothing will haunt me more than seeing her trying to push my open throat back together as I lay lifeless on her lap unable to soothe her worried face.

I felt her small hands frantically pulling the bloody skin back together, screaming my name. That awful, blood-curdling sound coming from her perfect lips will torment me for the rest of my infinite, hollow days. The empty, isolated future I will have to endure without her, that I've dared not to think of until now.

This is so fucked.

After removing the rest of her clothing, I sink her body gently into the tub, noting the bruise that's forming on her back from where I pushed her away. I didn't mean to shove her so hard. My only instinct was to get her away from the black-eyed demon rushing to take her from me. I thought I couldn't hate myself more but the burning ache I feel when I look at her perfect skin being damaged by my hand makes me cringe.

I leave for a swift moment and head to her house, I'm back in one second. Before she can even realize I'm gone so I can grab us some clothes. I quickly rinse myself in the shower, so I don't get any more blood on her. I slip on a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before returning to her side.

Kneeling by the tub, I see the water is steeped in red from my blood. It cascades down her fragile body, dulling the red color to a faint almost a translucent pink. I have to refill the tub three times until the water runs clean from me gently scrubbing the thick red off of her.

During this process I'm keeping my left hand on her, to comfort her. It's something I do when I bring a soul over, a scared child, or a helpless mother who has been torn from her family and is frightened by me. I help soothe them into transition. I know they're going to heaven and it will only be seconds before they're blissfully happy for eternity, but I don't want them to be scared at all.

My gentle touch seems to thaw her stiff body and her eyes slowly move around the room, taking in her surroundings. To my horror, she never speaks a single word as I get her out of the tub and dry her off.

I slip the T-shirt I left with her to sleep in over her head, careful to not touch the bruise. I couldn't handle it if she winced at my touch right now. This is hard enough to not hold her and cradle her in my arms to soothe her as it is.

Her expression is dark, her face void of any emotion. I want so badly to comfort her, but it's not my place anymore. After what she saw, I don't know how she can stand to be in this room with me. Then again, she isn't moving. She may want to be far, far away from me now. I've broken her.

The only solace I find comfort in is that she's safe.

I'm thankful I've defeated the threat, the demon that was after the soul of the glorious woman I love. Her delicate soul belongs nowhere other than in heaven many, many years from now after she's lived a long, beautiful life.

I've defeated the threat, but I've lost my world.

She saw me end someone's life tonight, she saw my lifeless body. I have to let her go. She is too pure for me, for my world. I saw the innocence slowly fade from her beautiful eyes when I died on her lap. Thankfully her light is still blindingly bright. I'll miss that, the way I only see her. The way that the rest of the world is dulled in comparison to her. She has no idea how much she colors my world, truly she doesn't.

Maybe Zack can make her happy. My body tenses at the thought. He's a nice kid, but I know what he wants. He may think he likes her but no one, not a single soul, will ever feel the way I do about her.

I can't imagine his, or any other man's hands on her. The thought makes me physically sick. I have to pull myself from my selfish thoughts. I have to, for her.

My job is simple, well as simple as it can be. I bring souls to their deciding fate. I'm never tethered to a human for more than mere seconds before I hand them off. I have never come across a situation like this, I have no one to ask for help.

After I was punished, I woke up knowing what I needed to do, what I have to do to keep the world in order. Like the weight of humanity rests on my shoulders. Nothing has brought me to my knees like this beautiful girl has, she deserves so much more than I can offer.

I want more than anything to keep this bond so I know she's safe at all times, but my fears and selfishness can't keep her tethered to me forever. I have to give her the chance to let go of me.

Tomorrow I will bring her home. I wish she had someone to talk to so she can work through the horrific site she saw tonight. Her mom will be gone to work, and the threat of the demon is no longer looming over her perfect head. I can break the bond, let her be free of me.

For me, the bond won't matter. Breaking it will be like cutting a feathered rope. Nothing will change my feelings for her. Nothing will be the same for me after her, the light and color to my never-ending darkness. My thoughts haven't been in the dark place I'm in now since I first laid eyes on her. Now they are consuming me, again.

She's safe, that's all that matters.

She's safe, she's safe, she's safe... I chant to myself as I steel my gaze from her on the bed, still staring at nothing. I force myself out the backdoor and towards the sand. I can imagine her here, in the daytime, admiring the view. Her love of the ocean never ceases to amaze me. That’s why I brought her to Brazil, and now to this beach house that's nestled in the sand overlooking the ocean. It's Brian's. I've checked in on her mom here and I knew no one would be here considering it's a weekend home.

I didn't want to take her too far from the familiar surroundings of her town. If, no,whenshe snaps out of this, I will take her home. I’ll fetch her car from the city and drive it back when I know she's asleep tonight.

I stare out at the water she adores so much but I find no comfort in it, they all look the same to me. I've seen them for centuries over and over.

Physical pain shreds through me as I break it. This is it for me, she was my only chance of happiness, but I had to do this, for her. I tell myself over and over again that this is all for her.

I bring myself into the bed beside her one last time. Now that the bond is broken, I can't tell if she feels any different towards me. Her still body is staring out the window as I climb in the bed. I'm desperate for her to put her head on my chest.

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