Chapter One

Ruger

2 days before Tanner & Quin’s Arrival

I’m a humane executioner. When I wasn’t pushing Darlene around for answers, I did lines of cocaine and studied everything I needed to know about the human body for the procedure. Getting shot means I’ll have a harder time with the dirty job I have to do, but the further along Darlene gets in her pregnancy, the harder it is for her to do much of everything. I give her just enough calories to keep the baby alive. Just enough exercise. Just enough of everything.

I haven’t hit her in weeks. It’s the third trimester. The most important one. The closer she gets to the end of her life, the stranger my feelings get about the whole situation. I tried praying about it, but Jesus doesn’t want to listen to a madman’s murder plot. He has his hands plugged over his ears.

And I’m alone again.Doc is dead. The man I thought would be with me until I got shot and died doing something for the club. But here I am. Still alive despite everything and responsible for another life.

Not Darlene’s life.The life inside her.

The babyI’m going to cut out of her.

A little boy.

I startDarlene’s day by dragging a TV into her prison and letting her watch five episodes of Grey’s Anatomy back to back. She likes the plotline where Maggie found out she has a twin cousin and killed her in the course of the same episode. Insane. I don’t like all the hollering on that show. Makes me nervous. I smoke on and off while she watches TV and do a little cocaine when I feel myself nodding off.

I can sleep once the baby is born. When I bring ice cream for breakfast, Darlene gets suspicious.

“Why are you bringing me my favorite food and letting me watch TV?” Darlene says, looking up at me from beneath tortured blue eyes. I beat the fucking life out of her. Each time I look in her eyes, I try to make myself give a fuck… but I don’t. She doesn’t seem human to me anymore.

That will make it easy to get the job done.

“Because it’s a nice day out.”

It’s never a nice day out on the Indian reservation. This place is straight up ghetto and I don’t care if Oske blames me for it. I didn’t tell them to move out to the desert and frankly, whoever did clearly wanted them to burn to death. It’s hot as fuck here all the damn time and it smells outside. There are stray dogs taking over the front porch half the fucking time.

People drive by and spit on me just because I’m white. I can’t think of any other reason. Maybe the gunshots and the screams, but I know these people have nothing but racism and revenge in their hearts…

“I don’t believe you,” she says. “I think you’re up to something.”

“What could I be up to, Darlene?”

I can’t waitfor her to be dead.

“You’reready to apologize and accept that I made a mistake.”

This woman is fucking delusional.She spent over $25,000. I worked so fucking hard for that money. I thought I was supporting my wife and she humiliated me in front of all the Barbarians. I cut the tattoo off her skin already. Does she really think there’s a way back after this?

“Eat your ice-cream, Darlene.”

“I knew it,” she says. “It’s the pregnancy turning you on.”

Darlene couldn’t turnme on if she wrapped her hand around my dick and shoved it up her ass. I stare at her while she eats, hoping to scare her. She just keeps going in on the ice cream. My gaze drops from her face to her belly. The good thing about this being my first time doing a C-section is that only one needs to survive.

The baby.

I watch her eating ice-cream,trying to make myself feel something as I watch her. There’s nothing. Just all numb everywhere. I think the last time I felt something aside from pure rage was the night I found out about Doc. I grew up under the assumption that my dumb ass would die before Doc would. I never imagined for a second that I would have to go on without him.

Needless to say, he wouldn’t exactly approve of this.

“You’re staring,”Darlene says. “Be patient, big boy.”

I shudderand just keep watching her. Quiet. More self-conscious than concerned with Darlene and the thoughts in her head. Those thoughts will go all quiet soon and she won’t have to concern herself with who she has to lie to and fuck around on to get money, attention… all the stupid shit she cares about.

When she’s done, she slams it on the floor, rattling the bowl.