Over my dead body, I thought. Not only was Tomas a cheater, but his personality in the bedroom left me both uncomfortable and a bit scared. Crossing my small living room and making my way over to the window, I saw Tomas turn and walk back down the street, no doubt to the bar around the corner. It was obvious he’d been drinking. Why else would he come to my apartment, begging me to take him back? There was absolutely no way in hell I’d ever forgive that asshole. He’d ruined a lot of things for me, sex included.

As I watched his silhouette disappear around the corner, I finally released the breath I’d been holding. I despised confrontation; it made my skin itch and my face burn.

I caught a glance at the clock hanging on the wall, and I sighed deeply before heading back towards my room. Joanna and I were planning on going out for drinks, but I’d stopped getting ready the moment Tomas had appeared outside my building. It had been several months since I’d broken things off, but he didn’t seem to take the hint. We hadn’t even been seeing each other that long, but I had been around enough men to know that he wasn’t a keeper. I had been slightly relieved when I saw him dancing with another woman at a club, and not entirely shocked as they flirted more and more as the evening progressed. I’d watched from afar, feeling somewhat detached from the entire ordeal. I hadn’t even planned on being out that night, but another friend was going through a break-up, soI had come out to support her and get her mind off of things. By the time the evening was winding down, I had watched the pair leave together. I should have confronted him right there and then, but I was surprised at the lack of rage or betrayal I felt. If truth be told, I was embarrassed at myself for not breaking it off sooner. For trusting that things would get better.

Grabbing my favorite amethyst dress from my wardrobe, I put on a tall pair of pumps to make up for my small stature. Silver hoops went in my ears, and I walked into the bathroom, eager to fix up my make-up into a sultry look so I could pretend to be someone else for an evening. Someone bolder.

Before I could move out of the bathroom, an irritated meow dragged my attention down to the floor. Bianca rubbed up against my legs, obviously annoyed that I hadn’t fed her yet. I grabbed my lipstick off the bathroom counter to throw into my little bag, and then entered the kitchen, opening a can of cat food for the fluffy white cat who nearly tripped me in her excitement for her evening meal.

My intercom buzzed again, and I ran to the front room, grabbing my beaded black clutch from the couch as Joanna’s voice came through.

“You ready, Al?”

“Yup, heading down now.”

I glanced out the window again before I left, ensuring Tomas hadn’t circled back around. Thankfully, he was nowhere to be seen. I locked my door, and then took the elevator down to the lobby of my building.

Joanna twirled in front of me as the elevator doors opened. She looked beautiful in a satin minidress.She was more of a traditional beauty than I was, tall with a thin build and gorgeous raven hair that cascaded in waves down her back, no matter what activity she participated in or what the weather was. I, on the other hand, was short and pretty much all hips, and no matter who cut my hair or styled it, it was always a boring mousey brown without a lick of curl. In lower school, I had an ill-advised perm that made me look like a poodle for a while, before I had learned to accept that my hair had a mind of its own.

“I need a night out!” Joanna proclaimed, waltzing towards me and pulling me in for a hug. We were careful to maintain our professionalism at work, but once 5:00 p.m. hit, we were best friends. It was nice to have someone who understood both my work and my personal life.

“You look upset—what happened?” Joanna was intuitive and sensed when things were off, especially with me.

“Tomas,” I said, grimacing. I hated even saying his name.

Joanna made a face, but didn’t ask me to elaborate, for which I was grateful. I didn’t want to dwell in the past, and I especially didn’t want to get into all the things that had gone wrong in my sex life, either. I just wanted to have an enjoyable evening out and relax a bit. I wasn’t super into the bar or club scene, but it did get me out of my apartment and away from my hermit lifestyle. If left to my own devices, I’d become a blob who did nothing but watch TV and pore over the latest physical therapy journals.

“Cet Endroitokay?” Joanna asked, her French absolutely abysmal. Originally from Hong Kong,Joanna’s mom had moved to France when Joanna had been a teenager, and she never seemed to pick up the correct pronunciation. But I loved how hard she tried, and it made her more endearing to me. Since French and Italian were so similar, and my father was French, I had no trouble adjusting when I’d made the move to Paris. My French was pretty much flawless.

“Sure,” I replied, pushing open the lobby door and hearing it latch securely behind me. The units in my building were protected by a locked keypad, preventing unwanted visitors from getting into the lobby. I took a final look around, making sure that Tomas wasn’t lingering, and then I crossed the street with Joanna. We walked a few blocks to the club, and I tried to hide my distaste for the place she had chosen. It was loud and dark; not exactly the best backdrop for meaningful conversation or a relaxing drink. But still, I needed to burn off a little energy and dancing seemed like the easiest way to accomplish that.

We paid the cover charge and slipped inside the doors. Bright, flashing strobe lights cut through the darkness, and the bass was so loud I couldn’t even make out whatever song was playing. But Joanna was instantly in her element—she moved on to the floor, pulling me with her before we even did the mandatory lap around the club to see if there was anyone interesting.

Joanna might have been in the mood to find someone, but I was done with boys. I needed a break; I would wait until I could find a man instead of these wannabe little players. I hardly glanced around the room, and instead I concentrated on the beat. The music made my ears ring and was so loud that it was slightlyuncomfortable, but I was young, wasn’t I? Wasn’t this what young women did before they got married and settled down?

After a few songs, Joanna was ready for some refreshments. She motioned for me to follow her, and I was relieved that she wanted to take a break. I was turning twenty-seven in the fall, and to be honest, I was starting to feel a bit older than all the eighteen and nineteen-year-olds grinding around me.

I met Joanna at the bar, and she was already ordering a couple of Long Island ice teas. I personally preferred a nice wine, but Joanna had offered to pay, so who was I to complain?

Joanna smiled at me, her obsidian hair looking glossy under the strobe lights. “Do you see anyone you like?” she yelled over the music.

“I’m not looking,” I responded, grabbing the drink that the server had nudged towards me. Instead of a lemon wedge, there was an orange slice teetering on the edge of the glass. I looked at the server, who smiled at me a bit too friendly.

“We’re out of lemons.” He added a wink to his statement, and then looked at me expectantly. I shrugged, and his attention immediately diverted to Joanna. She flicked her long hair and smiled at him, trying to talk over the music.

I sighed, looking to the side and finding a little table to sit at. My feet were already aching, and I had no desire to go back out into the crowd by myself. Instead, I watched as Joanna laughed, giggled and teased the bartender.

A tall man with a thin beard sat next to me. I was about to tell him to buzz off, but he gave me a kindsmile and I didn’t have it in my heart to be rude to him. He was just telling me about his job in architectural engineering when I saw a sight that made my heart drop into my stomach.

Tomas was standing about twelve metres away, watching me intently. The knees of his jeans were ripped, and his collared shirt was ruffled as if he’d already been in a scuffle this evening, aside from having kicked my trash cans in anger. I watched as his gray eyes focused on me, and suddenly I felt—scared. There was a hostility in his expression that I’d never seen before, and when he saw me noticing him, he gave me a cryptic smile, as if he was daring me to come over and tell him off. I could feel my heart palpitating, and I wiped my hands on my dress, palms suddenly covered with sweat. The music droned on, but it was like a loud buzzing now, making my head feel full and thick.

“So, I might go back to Germany, but I—” the man, whose name I hadn’t even caught, obviously knew I was no longer paying attention. “Is everything alright?” he asked, sensing my panic.

“The man over there…he’s my ex. And he’s…watching me.”

My would-be-date looked around the room until he spotted Tomas. It wasn’t hard; Tomas still hadn’t taken his eyes off of me.

“I’m going to head home,” I said, thinking of the security system in my building, along with my first-floor neighbor, who was a policeman.