Page 59 of My Best Years

“Yeah, yeah,” I chuckle. “Love you, Win.”

“Love you too, B,” she replies. “I’ll call you tonight.”

After we say goodbye, I just lay there with my hands folded across my chest, still as a statue. In a trance, I watch the fan spin around and around as I replay my conversation with Winnie.

I’ve been hung up on Callum Pierce for as long as I can remember.

I’ve tried to move on, but no one will ever compare to him. Even though Callum hurt me in the worst way, I’ve always put him on a pedestal that no other man could reach.

I can choose to give things a shot between me and Callum or be miserable for the rest of my life. Winnie’s right; if things don’t work out between us, I might finally be able to move on.

A voice in the back of my mind tells me that even if he tore my heart to pieces for a second time, I still wouldn't be able to get over him.

Truthfully, I don’t think there’s a universe where Callumand I don’t exist in it together. It would be nearly impossible to rid my mind of him entirely.

Even on my darkest days, when I felt like I couldn’t breathe because he broke me so badly, I still couldn't let him go.

And deep down, that’s how I know that it will always be him.

But one thing is for sure: I’ll never know if I don’t try.

NINETEEN

Callum

I repeatedly click the end of my pen, waiting for the judge to call a lunch break. The session started about an hour and a half ago, and everyone is starting to get a little fidgety.

I’ll be able to sleep peacefully tonight because I know, without a doubt, that the judge is going to rule in favor of my client. The child’s parents have multiple drug charges without showing any interest in getting clean. It’s never easy to watch a child get ripped away from their parents, but it’s my responsibility to make sure they’re in a safe home and out of harm's way.

When my client was first taken away from his parents, he was found living in a home that reeked of filth. You could barely walk through the nauseating rooms due to piles of trash and dog feces. At only five years old, he was sleeping in a roach-infested bedroom with used needles scattered around the floor. It was a miracle that he hadn’t stepped on one.

No child—no human being—should ever have to live in thattype of environment. It wasn’t just dirty, but a severe health hazard. Since this isn’t his parents’ first offense, I don’t see any chance of the judge letting them keep their parental rights.

From what I’ve gathered, the child’s aunt and uncle are good people and more than willing to take him in, which gives me a massive sense of relief. Foster care can be a blessing for some children, but it can also be a nightmare for others. In my experience, it’s always best when a family member steps up to care for them.

My phone vibrates against the cherry wood desk, distracting me from my thoughts. The judge dismisses the court for lunch right before I reach for my phone. My heart lodges into my throat when I unlock the screen and read the text message that just came through.

The message I’ve so desperately been waiting for.

I swipe my reading glasses from the desk and push them on.

I read the notification twice, blinking a few times to assure myself that it’s really her.

“Thank God,” I mumble under my breath as I run my fingers through my hair.

I let out a massive sigh of relief because she finally texted me. It feels like the first full breath I’ve taken in days.

Finally.

Fucking finally.

Hey, it’s Birdie. I was wondering if you’d like to get coffee with me this week? I have to be at work at 10:00 a.m., but I can go anytime before that.

I re-read her text, in complete and utter shock that she actually reached out. I can’t contain the stupid smile stretching across my face. I’ll be thirty in less than a year, but I feel like alove-struck teenager right now, losing my shit over a text message.

It’s been two weeks since I last saw Birdie, and I was starting to worry that she wouldn’t reach out at all. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since the day she met me at Captain Ray’s. I just toss and turn, kicking myself for not asking for her number instead.

A few nights ago, I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I had missed my chance with Birdie and started to panic.

---