Page 122 of My Best Years

“You deserve to be loved, Callum,” I whisper. “Everybody does.”

He mindlessly glides his fingers up and down my torso.

“I guess…” he trails off. “I guess I’m just so used to being alone. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve never felt deserving of love. Until recently, I had convinced myself that I was going to die alone. That I would never find the kind of love I feel with you. It’s not something that can be duplicated.”

The connection I have with Callum is once in a lifetime. I know because I tried to find it again. And no matter how many great guys I went out with, none of them held a flame to Callum.

“Well, guess what?” I ask.

“What?”

“I’m here now,” I smile softly. “And you don’t have to do this alone.”

Callum sits up straighter, cradling either side of my neck. His thumbs brush intimate swipes against my jaw.

“Promise me something, Birdie.”

Our breaths intermingle as I slowly nod.

“Promise me that this is what you want,” he mutters. “And if it’s not, I swear to never hold it against you. Because we both know that life is going to look a lot different for me now; it’s not going to be a walk on the beach.”

“Life never is, Callum,” I reply. “As a nurse, I see the harsh reality of what people go through on a daily basis. We all have our battles that we’re fighting, and for some reason, this is yours. And when the time comes for me to fight mine, I know that you’ll be right by my side.”

I reach up and run my fingers through his thick curls before continuing.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that I want to wake up every morning next to you,” I confess. “Because for eleven years, I woke up without you, and it was the most miserable years of my life. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could be worse than that. Iwas a shell of a human, and everyone who knew the version of me before you left could tell.”

Callum’s brows pinch together with pain as his eyes flick between mine.

“I hated myself for what I did to you,” he croaks. “I was so fucking sad, Birdie. I felt like I was just going through the motions. Nothing ever felt the same. I was completely void of feeling joy. Then, after so many years, I saw you standing in the middle of my grocery store like a damn angel. It’s impossible to describe the feeling, but it was like life was being breathed back into my lungs again.”

I’m on the verge of melting into a puddle in his arms. I never knew a statement could be so sad yet so sweet at the same time.

“I couldn't believe it,” I murmur, remembering the exact moment I laid eyes on him. “Don’t get me wrong, I was really fucking pissed at you. Especially since you looked so goddamn hot.”

We both chuckle at that, lightening the mood.

“Can I be honest about something?”

“Sure…” I say hesitantly.

“Call me a masochist, but it kind of turned me on how snappy you were with me at first. It was a side of you I had never seen before.”

I arch a brow, not expecting him to say that.

“Okay,” Callum sighs, “It was hot as fuck. Especially when you told me you hated me. I wanted to bend you over your car and make you remember how much you loved me.”

Oh shit.

I can’t deny the heat wave that rolls down my spine at the thought of him bending me over his car.

“Is that right?” I breathe. “Are you saying I should tell you I hate you more often?”

He shrugs.

“I think a hate fuck is hot every once and while,” he grins sheepishly. “You just have to promise to tell me you love me afterward.”

I throw my head back and laugh.

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