Page 121 of My Best Years

His steps falter at my response.

“And most MS patients will never need a wheelchair,” I add. “With the right care, many of them go on to live a very normal life. I understand that this news is shocking and scary, but it’s not a fucking death sentence. But just like any other illness, it can be if you don’t have the right mindset. I’ve literally watched patients will themselves to die. You have to try your best to stay optimistic, Callum. Your mindset will be a crucial element of your treatment.”

His shoulders slump as he runs a hand against the back of his neck.

“But what if I'm in the minority that doesn't get so lucky?”

“And what if I were to get in a car accident and die nextweek?” I retort. “Because you know that’s a possibility, right? People get in wrecks every day. So does that mean you should leave me because there’s a chance I could die tomorrow?”

He shakes his head.

“Birdie, that’s not what I’m saying–”

“That’s exactly what you’re saying.”

Callum exhales a deep breath before resting his lower back against the island. A dark curl falls against his forehead as he slowly lifts his gaze to me.

“You deserve a man that can be there for you, Birdie,” he rasps. “A husband that can take care of you. You deserve the fucking world, and what if I can’t give that to you?”

My face flushes with frustration.

“How about you stop telling me what I deserve?” I raise my voice. “Because all I’ve ever wanted my entire fucking life is you, Callum Pierce! Even when I wanted so badly to hate you, I was still head over heels in love with you.”

“Birdie…” he stammers.

“For the past decade, I was living in pure and utter hell,” I add through gritted teeth. “You put me through hell when you left, Callum. So don’t you dare tell me what I deserve when this is the happiest I’ve been since we were kids. What Ideserveis my life back. My best friend. After eleven torturous years, I finally feel like I can breathe normally again.”

My voice shakes with every word.

The anger coursing through my veins dissipates when Callum lets out a low sob. He slides down the kitchen island and drops to the floor.

Fuck.

He looks utterly broken. Splintered at the core. It kills me.

He props his elbows on his knees, resting his head in his palms. Ollie licks a stripe along Callum’s cheek before patiently sitting beside him.

It touches my soul to see how much Ollie adores him.

Callum’s shoulders shake before he lets out a guttural cry that's so heartbreaking it makes me want to die.

“Cal,” I rush out, dropping to the floor and crawling into his lap. I quickly take his beautiful face between my palms.

“Callum, look at me, baby.”

His red-rimmed eyes find mine at the sound of my voice. My thumbs caress his wet cheeks as I press a kiss to his forehead.

“I can’t imagine how afraid you must feel,” I mutter, “because if I’m being honest, I’m scared out of my damn mind. I love you more than anything in this world, and all I want is for you to be healthy. But this isn’t the end of your life, Callum. You’re the strongest person I know. You’ve made it through so much, and you’re not going to let this defeat you. We’re going to live a long, beautiful life together, Callum Pierce. Because I refuse to let you give up on us, and I sure as hell won’t let you give up on yourself.”

Callum’s lower lip quivers as he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head in my neck. I curl my arms around his shoulders, clinging to him as he peppers sweet kisses against my skin.

When he pulls back to look at me, his gaze is full of awe and wonder.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he breathes.

I think back to his childhood and how I was truly the only person he had to lean on. I imagine the little boy with a mop of black hair, grinning from ear to ear as he hops onto the school bus.

He felt so abandoned in the grandest house on the street. But he felt right at home on the dingy yellow bus—with me.

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