Page 57 of My Best Years

Birdie

“What are you waiting for?” my sister asks from the other end of the phone. “Just text him already.”

I can practically hear Winnie rolling her eyes at my stubbornness.

It’s been exactly one week since I met Callum at Captain Ray’s.

It feels nearly impossible to function without him infiltrating my every thought.

I’ve been tossing and turning every night until I fall asleep thinking about him, only for him to follow me into my dreams. And when the morning sun shines through my windows, I immediately wake to vibrant images of Callum Pierce flooding my brain.

He’s inescapable.

Yesterday morning, I finally swallowed my pride and slid my hand between my legs, hoping that an orgasm would help to get him out of my head for at least a day. But, of course, thatonly made me crave him more.

Even when I’m at work, I’m constantly drifting off into my own little world where only Callum and I exist.

It’s starting to become a real problem at this point.

“Winnie,” I sigh, laying across my couch with my phone propped up on my chest. “It’s not that simple.”

“What do you mean it’s not that simple?” her theatrical voice booms through the speaker. “After what he revealed to you last week, that man deserves a freaking break. You know I’m the last person to make excuses for people, but he went through some really awful shit. I’m not saying it’s okay that he ghosted you for eleven years because it’s not. But in my mind, he had a damn good excuse. His father is a fucking maniac, so he distanced himself to keep you away from that psycho.”

Don’t get me wrong, I feel terrible for Callum. It kills me to think about what he went through.

But that doesn't change or diminish the heartbreak that I experienced. Even the worst wounds can heal, but it takes time.

“I know why he did it, Winnie. But it still doesn't take the hurt away.”

“Didn’t you tell me you would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed?” she asks.

I rub a hand against my cheek, a little frustrated with the complexity of this situation. It’s the furthest thing from black and white.

“Yeah,” I breathe. “I would have done anything to keep Callum safe.”

A moment of silence passes before she responds.

“You want to know what I think, B? My honest opinion.”

“Hit me,” I exhale.

“Deep down, we both know you’re only dragging out the inevitable. You’re going to see him again. There’s no question inmy mind about it. It’s just a matter of time, and you're only making yourself miserable at this point.”

“Ughhh,”I protest.

I hate that she’s right.

“It’s true,” she doubles down. “Just text him, Birdie.”

The night I left Captain Ray’s, I called Winnie and broke down the second I got home. I sobbed into the phone, clutching my chest as I told her about the house of horrors Callum lived in.

She cried too, just as heartbroken and shocked as me.

Ever since we were little kids, I’ve told my sister everything. When I promise someone I won’t tell their secrets, I really mean I won’t tell anyonebutWinnie.

I trust Winnie with my life.

In many ways, Callum was like a big brother to Winnie. She loved him so much. He was always hanging out at our house, and no matter how busy he was, Callum would go out of his way to make Winnie feel included.

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