Page 10 of Just in January

When my eyes open, I catch a framed photograph on his nightstand. It’s a wedding picture of him and Kimberley, at the same place where Winter had hers. Resting my chin on his sternum, I gaze up at him, and he lowers his eyes to stare back. His fingers stroke back my hair and tuck it behind my ears.

“Do you miss her?”

His eyes squeeze shut, then open wide with confusion. “Who?”

“Y-your wife.” My eyes trail back to the picture for a moment and he follows my gaze.

“Kimberley? What? No. Why are you thinking about her right now?”

Shrugging, I try to explain how insecure I suddenly feel. So young and inexperienced. “Because you lost your great love and I must be a sorry replacement.”

Anger flares across his face, but he schools it quickly, then sits up against his padded headboard, tugging me with him. His thick arms entangle around me until I feel like he could squeeze the air from my lungs.

“January, I haveneverfelt the way I feel when I’m with you. I-I’m not sure how to explain this. Well, I guess it’s pretty simple. Kimberley and I were married very young. I was twenty, and she was eighteen. Your age. This is a small town, and when you find someone, you just end up with them. We were friends from a young age, dated in high school, and went to all the dances.”

His voice turns gruff and hard. It was the same that night of Winter’s wedding when I first met him. When I glance up into his deep brown eyes, a shadow lays over them. “Then, the night of her accident, I found out she’d been having an affair with Jud Beckham for years. Maybe even since high school, but she only admitted to at least three.”

Tears form on the edge of his eyelids. “She never wanted kids, and that was fine, but she had to tell me about them being together because… she was pregnant with his baby. She hadn’t been with me in months. We slept in different rooms. So I came up here to stay with my mom and dad. And she told me everything, confessed it all, and that she was going to leave.”

I sit up on his waist and hold his face. “I’m so sorry, Justin. Your heart must have been crushed.”

His chocolate eyebrows meet as he looks down. “No. That’s the thing. She was my duty, my wife. And I was loyal. Tried to be there for her, but I was closed off. I’m sure that’s why Judwas always more appealing. But did Iloveher the way—” Lifting his gaze to me, he pauses. “The way a man should love a wife? Probably not. I never knew such feelings could exist. Not until…”

My heart surges as he stops himself from saying more. The warmth in his face as he watches me lets me know…Justin is the one. That true love the caught bouquet promised me. Can I get him to love me? To trust that I won’t do the same to him as his deceased wife did?

One of his hands reaches up to stroke his beard as he gathers a deep breath. “We argued about her affair. I was willing to try anything to save the marriage, just because I didn’t want to divorce. But she took off in a huff. And then, the next day, they told me her car had slipped on the ice in the snowstorm. She rolled off the mountain.Thatis what I feel guilty about. I should have forced her to stay here. Or at least had a better goodbye.”

“So, you left.”

He nods. “Yeah. I just wanted to be alone after that. Figured there was no use in trying to find anyone else. Not that I wanted to. It’s not something I really looked for in the first place; it just happened. And then I came back and… Things are different now. It’s not as painful as I thought it would be, not with you here.”

My cheeks hurt with the grin I make, and his cock throbs underneath my pussy. I slide on it once, but he laughs and pulls me off him, tucking me against his side. “I’m an old man. Need more time to recover, but,fuck, snowflake. You make me feel young again.”

“Justin, you’re notthatold.” He chuckles and taps the end of my nose, and I take a deep breath, then blurt out, “You could still have kids, even.”

His eyes grow wide as he turns into a huge statue. “Is that what you want? You want babies?”

Suddenly turning very shy, I press my cheek to his hairy, sticky chest. “Y-yes.” His dick makes a jump.

The deep rumble in his chest is loud against my ear as he clears his throat. “Well, someday, I’m sure that will be a nice thing… for you.” He slides out from under me and stands, heading to his bathroom. “I’m going to get cleaned up, then need to finish the downstairs plumbing. Some electrical on the lights in the dining room…”

Pulling the sheet up around me, I feel very naked. “Yeah, I’ll get started on some biscuits, then clean some guest rooms.”

My face flushes with embarrassment. Did I go too far? Too fast? Ugh, I’m always too impulsive. Here he was talking about never loving someone, and I just assumed he was falling for me as much as I am him. Maybe it’s better that he didn’t take my virginity. I think I’d be even more attached already if he had.

For the rest of the day, I busy myself working on the guest bedrooms. First thing I tackle is all the linens, while still making time to prep some chicken for dinner. We’re running low on fresh veggies and laundry detergent, but hopefully the snow melts before too long. When I pull back the curtain of my bedroom window just as the sun sets, more snow pummels to the earth in great droves. It piles up high against the windows.

To add to my shame from earlier, I call Justin to dinner, but he only mumbles something I can’t hear. I find him splayed under a sink in one of the lower guest rooms. “Sorry, snowflake. Just set me something out and I’ll eat it later. Want to finish this up tonight and make sure the pipes don’t freeze.”

I eat dinner by myself. It’s the worst meal I’ve had since I’ve been here. After I clean my dishes, I set him out a plate and cover it. Dragging myself up the stairs, I slide into my bed. Alone, sad, wishing I’d never said anything…

And missing Justin terribly.

Six

JUSTIN

Ishould have said exactly what I was feeling, but that would probably scare her away. After being numb for so long, it’s weird to let everything go now. That sunshine in the other room brought it out of me.

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