Her long blonde hair is matted with blood. Her clothes are torn and filthy. I try to remember how long it's been since I last saw her. How long have they had her in their clutches? How long has she been tortured because I chose to believe the words of a stranger—an enemy—dressed in friendly clothing?
I choke back a sob as I clasp her hand. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Kat. This is all my fault."
My tears fall as Mason rubs my shoulders, trying to comfort me, but there is no comfort for me here, not after what I've done.
Doc continues to work, assessing Kat and mending her wounds. He carefully checks her leg, cutting away her shredded jeans as he takes in the damage. I can see from where I’m sitting that it’s broken—bent unnaturally and twisted. He'll have to set it for it to heal properly, if it isn't already too late.
With a sigh, he addresses Mason. "Raptor, I need you to help brace her. This won't be pleasant for any of us."
Mason positions himself as I brace myself, squeezing Kat's hand harder as I press my other into her shoulder. When Doc starts setting her leg, she jolts awake with a scream. Mason and I hold her as still as we can while Doc works quickly. I try calming her down, but it’s no use. She’s in too much pain. Tears streak her face as she tries to break free. It feels like hours pass before Doc tells us he’s finished.
Kat goes limp as she cries into her pillow, all her fight gone. I push away the thoughts that keep invading my mind—what sheendured, what they must have done to her . . . I push it all away and try to comfort her.
She’s been still for so long, but she’s no longer crying. Her body finally seems relaxed. "Kat," I say tentatively.
Her eyes snap open and meet mine. Shock, recognition, and disbelief flood her features. "Phoenix?" her voice cracks as she says my name.
I give her a watery smile. "I'm here, Kat. You're safe now."
Kat's face crumples as she pulls me toward her, clinging to me like she thinks I might disappear at any second. "I'm so sorry, Kat," I tell her, hugging her to me.
She wraps her arms around me tightly, shaking her head. "Tell me this is real," she whispers.
"It's real, Kat. Those men won't hurt you ever again."
I feel her body start to shake, and she cries into my shoulder. Her pain and agony wreck me as we hold each other, crying until we have no more tears left to spill.
When Kat is able, she tells me what happened. Martin picked her up for a date and asked her to put on a blindfold under the guise of surprising her. When he stopped the car, three men pulled her out and bound and gagged her.
She was taken to a room, tied to the bed, beaten, and raped over several days by multiple men, including Martin. When she asked him why he was doing that to her, he smiled at her and said it was because he couldn't have me. I wanted to puke again when I heard that, and Mason looked livid.
I knew from Stitch that Martin was already dead and rotting in an unmarked grave somewhere deep in the desert. He suffered, I knew that, but if he were alive now, I knew Mason would make his suffering worse, and he'd deserve it. I knew that now.
Kat started losing track of time, and at some point, the Bastards moved her to the warehouse. Her torment continued there until tonight. She thought they'd kill her, especially when she heard the gunfire. She welcomed it.
Martin was the last to torment Kat when the guys found her. She thought they'd come to torture her next. She freaked out on them until stress and exhaustion overwhelmed her. She let it consume her, passing out until she woke up in the motel when Doc was fixing her leg.
I lose track of how many times I apologize to her, but she isn't having it. Every time I try to say I’m sorry, she cuts me off, telling me she doesn't blame me for anything, saying that it’s Martin's fault. He’s the one who abducted her, tortured her, beat her, and raped her. He’s the one she blames, not me.
It doesn't curb my guilt, though. She’s my friend, and I let her down, introduced her to a monster, and got her kidnapped and brutalized.
"Stop," she says. "I don't blame you for any of it, Nix. You can't hold onto guilt for someone else's actions. He made those choices, not you. You can't blame yourself for what happened; I won't let you. Martin is the monster here, not you."
I let those words simmer as I stay by her side while she sleeps. I played a part in this, but I wasn't the only one at fault. Martin was the villain here. He used me, used my naivety to get close to the Sons and the people I love. What he did to Kat, he wanted to do to me. He would have if he had the chance. It made me sick and angry.
Never again.
Never again will I be so foolish. I'll trust my intuition and make sure no one hurts my friends or family again. New Phoenix will be better. She'll be stronger for them. Wiser. Braver.
"We should get her to a hospital," Doc is telling Mason. "I'm concerned about infection."
He left a while ago to check on Raven, and I didn’t hear him return. "We can send some guys with you in the van," Mason replies.
I start to ask if they’re talking about Raven or Kat when Kat asks, "What's going on?"
Doc slowly walks over to her. "Kat, I'd like to take you to a hospital so we can get your wounds properly assessed. I can only see so much with my bare eyes."
Kat swallows audibly, and I see the fear in her eyes. The last time she put her trust in a man she barely knew, he tortured her. Part of me—the part that’s still feeling guilty that Kat was involved in this at all—wants to tell her I'll go with her, that I'll leave right now and stay with her through her hospital stay. But I still haven't seen Raven. I need to check on her too. I’m so torn.