Finals are here, and I still haven’t heard from Kat. No new updates on her socials, no indication that she’s been on an amazing vacation with her family, nothing. I am officially panicking.
“Are you sure she’s with her family, Martin? There’s no way she’d miss this week if she had a choice. I know it.” When Kat is still a no-show to our first test, I know something is seriously wrong.
Martin walks me to my classes, trying to reassure me that she's alright, but nothing he says makes me feel any better. As we walk down the crowded halls, I can feel the eyes of my entourage close by. They're far enough away not to raise any suspicions but close enough to jump in if I face any danger.
Their presence doesn’t make me feel better, though. Not when my friend is missing, even if her boyfriend keeps insisting she's fine. “It doesn’t make sense,” I say, my voice relaying all my emotions. "I’m really worried.”
Martin releases a heavy sigh as he pulls me into an empty alcove. He bites his lip, scrunching his face as if he's deciding something. He looks over my shoulder, checking to see if anyone is listening in. He can’t see my escorts as they blend in amongst the crowd, hoodies pulled over their heads to hide their identities.
“I don’t know how to say this,” he starts, looking sheepish.
“What is it?”
“How much has Kat told you about her past?”
I shrug. “She told me bits and pieces. Told me about her dad. Shared a little about the rest of her family. Normal things. Why?”
Martin looks away, refusing to meet my eye. “What don’t I know?” I demand, making him face me.
He runs a heavy hand through his hair, giving me a pained look as he explains, “She told me this in confidence, okay? So, when she comes back, you can’t tell her any of this.”
I nod even as my heart sinks in my chest, and the feeling of anxiety rises inside me like a rip tide about to pull me under.
“Kat used to have a drug problem,” Martin says with a grimace.
The world flew out from under me.
“She’s been stressed about finals and everything lately. I think she slid back down that hill. She’s been distant, pulling away from me. When I brought up reaching out to her sponsor, she got defensive. Started hanging out with friends I’d never met before, blowing me off.”
His face is wrought with pain and worry as he tells me everything. How he’d gone into her phone one night and saw coded messages to her ‘friends’. How he’d saved those numbers in his phone in case something happened. Martin knew something was up, so he told Kat’s mom and sponsor what he thought was happening. They came up with a plan to get her help and make sure she was safe. That’s why she’s been MIA. And I had no clue.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me this sooner?” I seethe.
Martin frowns, shooting me an apologetic look. “She made me swear not to tell you. I thought it would only make things worse for her if I betrayed that trust and clued you in. Even if it was for her own good.”
His face is devastated as he whispers, “I just want her to be okay. I did what I thought was right.” He chokes on a sob. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I—”
He covers his face as his shoulders shake. “I’m so worried about her, Phoenix.”
My heart aches to see my friend hurting. He knew what Kat was going through and had dealt with it all this time, and I had no clue. I wrap my arms around his side as he continues to shake, letting his tears fall at the truth he set free.
Kat.
All this time, she was struggling, and I had no idea.
Martin lays his head against my shoulder, his tears soaking into my shirt as I try to comfort him. Kat was suffering so much, and I did nothing to help her, to make her feel like she could come to me with this. I feel terrible.
We stand there for a while as Martin composes himself, pulling away. “I’m so sorry, Phoenix. I shouldn’t have kept that from you.”
I shake my head. “It wasn’t your story to tell. I just wish she’d come to me, let me know what was going on.”
“I still shouldn’t have let you worry like that. I should have come clean before, let you know she was somewhere safe,” he continues.
I release a breath. “She’s really okay?”
He nods. “Like I said, we came up with a plan. Kat’s somewhere safe. I promise.”
A small part of me eases at the news. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”