He gives me a tight smile, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Don't worry about it, babe." I watch his throat bob as he swallows hard. "There are some things in our world that you and Red just shouldn't get close to."
His fingers start tracing circles on my exposed skin, trying to distract me from our discussion. And as much as I enjoy our frequent bouts of flirting, toeing the line between friendlyand fuck me, I want answers. I reach my hand between us, pressing it firmly against his chest. "Jesse . . . " I say with a warning growl.
When he sees I'm not going to play along, he huffs out a sigh, dropping his arms and instead grabbing my hand. "Trust me,Raven. It's better if you only know what you know. The rest—well, it's best you pretend it doesn't exist."
The hand that's holding mine squeezes, pleading for me to drop it. Normally, I'd push. It's not like me to back down from a fight or give up when I really want to know something. But the look on his face has me moving cautiously.
I start chewing the inside of my cheek as I ruminate over his words, considering everything that's happened recently. Finally, I ask, "Should I be worried? About something happening to Nix or me?"
The hand that's holding mine closes harder, and a look of fierce determination appears on his face. "You girls have nothing to worry about. Viper and the rest of us would die before letting anything happen to either of you."
I can't help the scoff that comes out of my mouth. Jes continues, telling me, "I mean it. Any of us would dive into oncoming traffic for you girls, even Bear and Reaper."
A harsh laugh belts out of my throat as I swat him away. "Yeah, okay," I say sarcastically.
The corner of his lip twitches, and he continues, "I know they always look like they're pissed off all the time—hell, they probably are—but that doesn't mean they'd let something happen to any of us; including you and your sister."
I want to roll my eyes and tell him to drop the act, to tell him that his joke has run its course, but there's something in his eyes that tells me he means every word, and he believes it with all his might. The uneasiness from earlier starts creeping back in, reminding me that the club is dangerous. Only, this time, it's not alone. This time, a new sensation floods my senses, along with the unease.
A ping in my heart—something I haven't felt since Mom died. It whispers one word.Family.
I push the thought away, not wanting to acknowledge the word, the definition of what these people are starting to become to Phoenix. To me. I shake my head. "How can you know that? You guys hardly know us. Why would any of you dive into danger for us?" My voice is softer than I intended, coming out just louder than a whisper.
Jesse levels me with a serious look. "I know it doesn't make sense, but the moment you two showed up—even before the DNA test—we all knew whose you were. It's hard to miss the sting of Viper's wrath in you, babe. And Red, well, she's the good part of him, the part buried deep. You two were the missing pieces this club didn't know we needed. Since you came here, our family feels complete."
There it is again. That word. The one I refuse to acknowledge. The one I can't fathom right now. Since Mom died, the only family I have left is Phoenix. That's all I want, all I need. I don't know if I'm ready to let anyone else be a part of that yet. Maybe I never will.
As if sensing my train of thought, Jesse makes one last push to convince me not to shut them out. "Don't try to deny us, babe. Now that you're here, you're in the fam whether you like us or not." He laughs, giving me a wink to soften my mood.
I decide to play along, not wanting to crush his spirit. "Go figure, my family is more fucked up than I thought."
Jesse laughs, putting an arm around my shoulder, "Oh baby, you have no idea."
For the rest of my shift, I let things between me and Jesse fall back into our usual playful territory. I know the information he gave me was all he'd be willing to share for now. And the comments he made about the guys and us being a family . . . Those words float around no matter how hard I try to push them away.
A small part of me preens at the idea, a very small part. The rest are still wary about what will become of myfamilyif the clubkeeps crossing paths with Dom and his friends . . . or someone worse.
17
Phoenix
See you next week, Phoenix," my friend tells me as she heads for her next class.
"Bye, Kat," I reply, ducking into the library.
I've settled in amazingly so far and met a ton of new people at school. It's the kind of normalcy I didn't realize I was missing for so long. I lost touch with a lot of friends after Mom got sick, and all my time went into taking care of her. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to have friends.
Meeting Kat changed that. She was the first girl I met when I started my classes. When she plopped down next to me in Introduction to Psychology, we bonded over back-to-school jitters and a shared caffeine addiction. Now, we're attached at the hip.
Kat's one of the few I've actually opened up to about my mom. She gets it. Her dad passed away a few years ago, so we havethat in common, morbid as it may be. Talking to her about it has helped. She's been where I am and knows how hard it is. She knows the time it takes to heal from that kind of loss. It's one of the reasons I'm so grateful to have her.
I head upstairs to find a quiet nook in the back of the library where I can do some homework before my next class. I'm nearly done when I sense something eerie. It's that same feeling I got in the parking lot when I was paranoid that someone was watching me.
I turn to see what's got my senses on high alert. That's when I spot him—the man I saw in the parking lot the other day. He's perched in an armchair fifteen feet away with his eyes trained on me. This close, I can tell he's about my age, probably another student, but there's something about him that makes me wary. My stomach drops, and I get the urge to run.
As if sensing it, he starts to move before I get the chance. I'm frozen in place, unsure what to do as he comes closer.
Five feet away.