Page 78 of One Bed

Bea sighed. ‘You’re holding it, Gols.’

ChapterSixteen

Gib walked into his and Navy’s favourite place in Nashville, feeling like death warmed up. The last place he wanted to be was in a bar, and he looked around hoping Navy had managed to secure a booth. No such luck; his cousin sat at the end of the hand-crafted bar, a beer in front of him. In his faded jeans and loose T-shirt, Navy looked relaxed.

In comparison, Gib felt like day-old roadkill. He’d come straight from the airport after spending two days in New York and a week in Hong Kong, with a stop off in Berlin on his return, all the while trying to talk himself out of making a detour to London to see Bea. But nothing had changed, and she’d made her feelings clear… She wanted more, he couldn’t give it to her, and they were at a stalemate.

He dug his index finger and thumb into the corners of his eyes, trying to rub away the gritty feeling.

He’d managed about two hours of sleep on the ten-hour flight, in which he’d dreamed of walking through his house in Nashville with Bea, her commenting on the white walls and stark furniture. He told her she could paint the place lime green with pink spots, as long as she stayed. She could do anything she wanted as long as she slept in the same bed as him.

Maybe his subconscious was telling him he only wanted one bed for the two of them for the rest of their lives. But you didn’t plan the rest of your life after knowing someone for less than two weeks. That was a dumbass move, right? Even if he could open up to her –and be emotionally vulnerable – the next few months of his life would be insanely busy, and he’d be bouncing between Hong Kong, LA, and New York, and didn’t know when next he’d be in London. Or even in Nashville. Even if hecouldgive her an emotional commitment, what else could he offer her? Long stretches alone, with him stumbling in after fourteen- or sixteen-hour days. Sex, and him leaving early to catch a plane to go wherever Caddell needed him next. None of that was fair on Bea.

But memories of her were the mental equivalent of a chipped tooth. He couldn’t stop going there.

He was a cautious guy, someone who didn’t jump into situations easily or quickly, yet in just a few days he’d slept with a woman, heard her secrets, opened up a little, fallen deeper than he’d planned, had some soul-shocking conversations and split up with her.

They’d gone from zero to one hundred in just a few seconds. Their relationship was Formula One fast.

‘Gib!’

He lifted his head at Navy calling his name and wondered how long he’d been stood by the door, thinking. Shrugging out of his jacket, he pulled down his tie and ordered a whisky from the barman before clasping Navy’s lifted hand and giving him a quick shoulder bump.

‘You OK?’ Navy asked as he sat down. It had only taken Navy a few seconds to clock something was wrong.

‘Yes, no. I don’t know.’

‘Right. I feel so much closer to you now.’ Navy lifted his beer bottle to his mouth. ‘Is this about Bea?’

There was no point in denying it, Navy would nag until he talked the problem through. He might as well just get it over with. ‘Yes.’

‘So many words…’

Gib narrowed his eyes at his sarcasm. ‘We were sleeping together, it’s now over.’

‘You’ve slept with many women before, but I’ve never seen you looking like this. What did you do?’

‘Why do you think it was my fault?’ Gib demanded and signalled for another whisky. The first went down well, and he had a pleasantly warm sensation in his gut. Nice, because he hadn’t felt warm since he left the island.

‘Because you’re you,’ Navy replied. ‘Let me guess, she wanted more, and you told her you couldn’t give it to her.’

Gib stared at him. ‘That’s pretty specific.’

‘But true. You only get this morose when you find a girl you like, then you sabotage it.’

‘Bullshit.’

Navy started to tick items off his fingers.‘Jenny, senior year of high school. You were mad about her, but you called it quits. Hayley, final year of college. You guys slept together for a year, but she bailed because you refused to call her your girlfriend or introduce her to my dad. Hannah, six years ago. She saw through your can’t-commit crap straight away and called it over after a month. She wanted a family and wasn’t prepared to wait for you to get with the programme.’

Gib shook his head. ‘I'm not sure whether I should be impressed or creeped out by how much you’ve remembered about my love life.’

Navy tapped his bottle with his index finger. ‘I remember the ones you fell for.’

‘I haven’t fallen for Bea.’ Such bullshit, but he needed to put it out there. Maybe if he said it out loud, he would start believing his own spin.

He dropped his head and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. Jesus, this was hard. He’d never met anyone as amazing as her. She got him on levels no one had ever before, and he understood her. And let’s not forget that being in her arms, naked or clothed, was where he most wanted to be.

But he wanted her onhisterms, not hers. Just like he’d wanted the others.

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