Page 29 of That Island Feeling

I release a breath. Wow. Just like that.

Just like that. I’m not letting my intentions be overshadowed by the aioli this time.

My stomach does a backflip, before reality swiftly sets in. There’s no way I can go on a date with Jack.

I’d love to, I type, there’s no need to be rude. But unfortunately I’m not free. Tomorrow is spa night.

Along with the regular supermarket sheet masks, I’ve ordered vulva masks from Goop, and I feel a duty of care to be on standby for any emergency dashes to Port Hope Hospital. The masks were touted by Gwyn to ‘brighten and hydrate the vaginal area’, but she’s had very little to say about the reported allergic reactions. They only arrived the day before we left, so there had been no time to facilitate any ‘sensitivity spot checks’ on the labia major.

That’s a shame.

I’ll let you know if something changes, I reply, a faint twinge of regret creeping in.

Please do.

I know that nothing will change: Taylor is my priority right now. But considering how much he’s helped us – helped me – the least I can do is let Jack down gently.

Two hours later our moon circle reaches completion with a singing chant led by Grace.

‘Moon goddess, oh moon goddess, we thank you for your presence and for witnessing these rites, we bid you hail and farewell.’

‘Hail and farewell!’ we repeat in unison.

‘Now for the final sacrament,’ Grace says, rising from her floor cushion and walking clockwise around the circle, swishing the tulle skirt she’s layered over her leggings. ‘The break-up bonfire!’

My eyes narrow. This is not on the itinerary.

‘Don’t worry, Ands. We’ll be taking it outside,’ Grace continues. ‘We don’t need a repeat of that Friends episode. Or maybe we do – fancy a hot fireman?’

My snort of laughter catches me off guard. ‘That depends – what month of the calendar are we talking? They keep the real hotties for the holiday months.’

‘Definitely a December fireman,’ Grace confirms solemnly.

‘You’d actually entertain it?’ Taylor asks as she stands.

‘Dating a hot fireman? Sure, and did I mention that Jacob Elordi and I are grabbing Yo-Chi next week – right after he helps me feed Dad his dinner, showers him and gets him into bed. Incontinence sheet protectors are soooooooo sexy, should really get us in the mood.’

I pause for laughter, but none comes.

‘Hilarious,’ Taylor says eventually. ‘Anyway, let me pee – then we burnnnnn.’

As Taylor disappears into the bathroom, phone in hand – for the fourth time this evening – I turn to Grace and Lizzie. ‘Are you guys worried that she’s getting too close to Ben?’

‘We spoke about this already, Ands,’ Lizzie says, brow lifting. ‘They’re two consenting adults.’

‘Grace?’

I can’t be the only one who cares.

‘I think you need to chill, Ands,’ Grace says. ‘Ben’s a really nice guy. And so what if he is interested in her? I mean who could blame him, she’s beautiful! Plus, he’s the one responsible for where he puts his dick, not her.’

‘I know! Sometimes she doesn’t realise how magnetic she is, though. And I don’t want her doing anything she’ll end up regretting or feeling guilty about – when she’s still dealing with so much from –’

‘Relax, Ands,’ Grace cuts me off. ‘You’re not on playground duty. Sometimes you gotta let the chips fall where they may.’

I shrug, masking my irritation with my best neutral face. ‘Firstly, we’re not woodcutters from the 1800s, and secondly, I’m just saying that where possible we should be encouraging Tay to explore other – more available – options.’

Jack’s name is on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow it back down.

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