Page 75 of Breaking the Sinner

Hours drifted by this way, caught in the sweet, sticky web of laughter and jokes and complete, unhinged bullshitting. Cobra had never felt so damn free. Or light. Orhappy. The hangout sesh moved to the kitchen, where the two fell into an elaborately slow dinner prep. Every move was tempered with a joke or a break to snort-laugh. Gen could barely cut the bell pepper straight. Mushrooms popped out from Cobra’s grip and tumbled across the kitchen. When Gen opened the bag of rice too hard, rice flew everywhere. She even found a piece in Cobra’s hair, which of course made them laugh harder.

They fed each other slightly-scorched pieces of bell pepper and chicken while sitting cross-legged on the couch facing each other. Shit like this was nice. No, it was more than nice. It made his heart hurt. Made him start to believe it could stay a regular thing, which was maybe the worst part of it all.

Cobra asked if she wanted to smoke again while they ate; she agreed, and she hit the pipe one more time, with less coughing and sputtering afterward. When she returned to her food, she moaned appreciatively.

“I don’t think we’ve ever made anything sotastybefore.”

“That’s a stoner secret, Red.” He forked a piece of chicken into his mouth. “Weed makes everything taste better. Even if it’s half-burnt.”

“So, do you smoke before every meal?”

“Nah. I used to smoke a lot. Now it’s just…when I’m with someone who wants to.”

“Like me.” A giggled rippled out of her. “Oh no, the giggles are coming back.” A few wracked her body, and she pressed her index finger beneath her nose, like blocking a sneeze. When it passed, she sighed, popping a piece of broccoli into her mouth. “This is fun. I see why people smoke.”

“You think you ever will again?”

She shrugged. “Maybe with you. But not anyone else. I don’t think it would be as fun with anyone else.”

He fought the warmth that spread through him. Because he didn’t deserve that designation. “Aw, come on. Smoking is fun with anyone.”

“Yeah, but stuff is more fun with you.”

The innocence behind her words made him avert his gaze. They’d finished eating, so he took their bowls to the sink. When he came back, Gen watched him with a dreamy look on her face.

“Can we go back to my bed? I’m kinda tired.”

A small voice inside him urged him to dip now.Just go home.He’d spent too much time with her. Gotten too close. Going to her bed now would only sweeten the pot. Make it that much harder to end this thing, when the time came.

But he couldn’t stay away. Not today, at least. Maybe he deserved one long, sweet, uninterrupted reverie with her.

“Yeah. Let’s go lay down.”

They wandered down the hallway hand in hand, as if they were venturing forward into the unknown on a romantic date and not inside the familiar surroundings of her apartment. Gen filled his vision. The face that would forever be etched into his heart. The sweetness that made him ache. The trust that she had for him, so monumental and undeserved he didn’t even know where to begin.

She climbed onto the bed first and he followed suit, spooning her automatically. A plan they’d made without even speaking. She snuggled into him, the heat of her reassuring. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, registering the firm squeeze in his chest.

It was official. He didn’t ever want to leave her side.

He swallowed a knot in his throat and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. They needed something to temper the gulping swallow of silence. That was when his mind had free rein to run rampant. Even Gen at his side might not combat that.

“I’m gonna play some music,” he whispered, careful not to break her trance. She looked caught between worlds, half-awake but still present. She nodded, and he swiped through his phone, settling on an artist halfway between hip-hop and house music. The sultry bassline filled the room. She sighed, tossing an arm over her eyes.

“This is amazing.”

“Another stoner secret,” he said, propping himself on an elbow. “Music and weed go pretty fucking great together, too.”

“You stoners have all the secrets to life, then, huh?”

“A few.” He ran his fingers along the length of her arm, then laced his fingers through hers. “You might have the rest of them.”

“So together,” she said, voice slow and dreamy, “we have them all.”

He pressed his lips to her shoulder.Together.A word he didn’t even like to think about. He didn’t belong together with anybody. Not anyone beyond Klay and Tyler. The only people who knew where he came from. Why he was so fucked up…and would accept him anyway.

Cobra stayed silent, letting his eyes drift shut as the music played on. Nobody spoke for a long time. He fell into a deep trance, equal parts napping and ruminating. Thoughts drifted around in his head, new ideas for sketches, old conversations, the perfection of Gen at his side. When she spoke, he couldn’t figure out if minutes or hours had passed since they’d lain down.

“Hey, Cobra?”

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