Page 109 of Breaking the Sinner

SUBJECT: Forgive me? Part 7

I figured out how to look at my sent e-mails so I updated the part number. Merry Christmas!! That’s not your gift, the part number thing. I got your gift here. I can’t wait to give it to you. I got some other gifts waiting for you too. Yes, one of them is my dick. And no, I will not send you a picture no matter how nice you ask. You just need to come back and see for yourself.

Seriously hope Fernando is not a thing because then this is gonna be a real creeper e-mail.

Please tell me Fernando is not a thing.

Gen. Please.

TO:[email protected]

FROM:[email protected]

SUBJECT: Forgive me? Part New Year

I don’t know if these e-mails are even reaching you. I drive myself crazy thinking that maybe I lost you the day I left you at your parents’ house. I can’t excuse what I did. I can just explain. I’d like to do that in person, but here’s a summary: I’m fucking depressed. I always have been, and usually it’s bad, but sometimes it gets real bad.

My life has been a real sad story. One I’ve bought into for a long damn time. Until you came along.

Depression is only part of the story though. I’ve got some other shit baked into this stupid pot pie of mine. Like…I dunno. Bad habits, I guess. I’m really good at running away when shit gets hard, or if there’s even the slightest chance things might not work out. Part of me still can’t believe I’ve made it this long at Holt’s.

But that’s where you come in. You fucking saved me. Six months ago, I would have laughed in your face if you’d have told me this little innocent red-head from the valley was gonna save my fucking ass. I’d have told you that I was the last person needing saved. But fuck, Genny. I needed it more than anyone. You gave me a push. A few times, actually.

Maybe I’ve written too much. It feels weird to admit this shit. I just know that you’re a fucking angel, and life can actually be better than it has been. Even if you never come back into my life, I just need you to know that you are the most important person I’ve ever met. Don’t worry, I’ll still be a shithead that gets depressed sometimes. But one that occasionally shits roses, too.

Or daisies, in your case.

Red, you’ve changed me. For the better. Forever.

And guess what else? I love you. I have for a long time.

Chapter 42

Gen pressed the Video icon on her tablet, grinning as Sophie’s face lit up the screen. “Can you see me?”

Sophie’s jet-black hair hung even longer than she remembered. Seeing her best friend and roomie was a relief. Three months abroad might as well have been three years.

“Um…no. I see something flesh colored. Is that your thumb? Are you covering the camera hole?”

Gen sighed. She might never get the hang of this thing. She turned the tablet around, craning her neck to find the camera. “Can you see me now?”

“You don’t have to turn the tablet around. Hit the button where it flips the camera for you.”

Gen jabbed the screen a couple times, tongue poked out between lips.

“There we go. Oh, well, that’s a nice shot of your nose.”

Gen giggled, adjusting the tablet. “Better now?”

“Yeah, I can see you! Look at you! Oh my God, you chopped all your hair off!”

It was true. One drunk night in Barcelona had led to a very impassioned discussion with a very expressive hair stylist who insisted that what Gen needed was to shed her spiritual baggage. Now she had a bob—and loved it.

“I think your hair is longer than mine!” Gen said, giggling. An announcement echoed through the airport. “Hang on, Soph—” Something about United Airlines flight one-one-something. “Sorry. Gosh, they’re so loud.”

“Whereareyou?” Sophie said. “And what are you calling me from?”

“Well, I have a tablet now.”

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