Page 21 of The Order: Rise of the New Empire

Had Xavier allowed the interaction to go on for longer than the five seconds it did, I question whether or not Kai would have killed him.

Not that anyone would blame him.

"You feel better?" I question once he has turned back toward the water.

"Not in the slightest," Kai sighs. "I didn't even graze him."

Scooting a bit closer, I grab his shirt before he can shift away, slamming my hand down on his leg, keeping him as close as I can.

Ready to tear my hand away from his leg, I glare at him, giving him a stern look.

"Not with me," I hiss. "You're not going to do that isolation bullshit with me any longer," I snap. "Eventually, we will both have to hear what they have to say about Forest, and you will have to listen."

Saying nothing, Kai keeps still, something breaching past his cold face.

"What?" I question, finally seeing the one thing I have yet to see in his expression for months.

Emotion.

"I forgot," Kai whispers. "What touch felt like."

Letting out a sigh of relief at his comment, I ignore the group of people watching us from the deck, letting my arm wrap around his shoulders. Feeling him settle into my side, I run my hand through his curls, ready to feel his hand push on my torso, creating as much space as he possibly can.

It never comes.

"Why the hell have you shut me out?" I question. "When has that ever benefited any of us?" I push, his head shaking.

"It seems like anything I hold onto is compromised the moment I have any attachment toward it. You are one of the few things I'd rather not see hurt, all because I allowed you to be close to me," he answers honestly, keeping his voice down.

"Remember that night, in this very cabin, before I got a knife pressed to my back?" I question, finally gaining his interest. "We sat like this, side by side, listening to each other's dreams and hopes, even though you felt as if they were pointless," I push. A small laugh escapes his lips.

Who knew I needed to hear that laugh so desperately.

"You leaned into me like this, and I clung onto every word you said," I push, grabbing his chin to get him to look at me. "How the hell do you think I have felt knowing we shared a moment like that? How do you think it has felt to feel your isolation? You think I find comfort in knowing how much time you spend with Xavier-"

"We have a common interest-"

"Doesn't mean I don't need you, Kaiden," I snap, finally laying out my truth for the both of us. "Maybe I am delusional to think the moment we shared in that room was more than just a lapse of judgment created by emotion, but I know one thing is for sure. That touch we shared has been the only thing on my mind every time I look at you, and all you've been doing is feeling a pain that I can't even begin to try and comfort because you can barely lookat me long enough to hold a conversation," I snap, seeing his eyes up close for the first time in what feels like forever.

"I don't want to hurt you," he pushes, a scoff rolling off of my throat.

"You already did," I push. "You hurt me every day you keep me isolated. Forest is gone, and we are doing everything we can to figure out if there is a way to bring her back. Xavier is suffering because Forest is all he has, but Forest is not all that you have. I am still here."

"And if you leave me?" he questions. "Then what am I left with?"

Shaking my head, I stare him down, leaning as close as I possibly can.

Touching noses, his curls graze my forehead. Our eyes lock with a burning heat.

"I didn't leave you when I hated you, Kaiden Blackburn," I whisper. "Why the hell would I leave you when I love you?"

Watching his eyes grow wide at the statement, his mouth snaps shut. All of the words he was ready to throw at me are suddenly impossible to spit out.

Leaning back just enough to see the red flaring through his cheeks, I give him a long look.

"When I kissed you, at the time, I thought you were just sad, needing someone with you, so holding you seemed like the only thing I could do-"

Saying nothing, his lips collide with my own, his hands wrapping around my neck, stopping me from entertaining my own spiral.

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