Page 13 of The Order: Rise of the New Empire

She saw me as someone worthy of love.

How the hell was I supposed to turn my back on that?

Her words keep replaying in my mind. The day I lost her grows less hazy each night I am left to deal with the effects of her absence.

It's more than just waking up, knowing I won't hear her voice or see her smile.

It's the fact she has been utterly silent.

Absolutely quiet.

I almost wish she would leave a trail of bodies in her wake so that I know she is alive.

I repeatedly play the words she shared with me in my mind after tossing me her ring.

"Usque ad extremum spiritum meu."

Latin.

The same Latin I spoke to her during her confinement in the Lottery, hoping she or her brother, with knowledge vaster than most, might be able to translate it for what it was.

Back then, I was always trying to give her signs of the evil Fallan harbored, all while feeling the cold knife of Elyon press into my back, threatening to twist at any given moment.

The Latin I know is brief, taught to me by my mother through the children's stories she used to read Lily. Given the limited texts both compounds have, most of the books pertaining to the old world's many languages are in confinement or burned away to a crisp, all for the sake of hiding valuable information. Sadly, my mother's bedtime stories did not provide enough content for me to know what Forest said.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

The world is a dark place waiting to swallow you whole.

Trusting anyone other than Kai has been difficult.

Despite all that I have gone through with the others, one thing connects Kai and me more than the rest.

The love we have for Forest will always be far greater than the way anyone else around us feels about her.

Most feel as if her actions were a betrayal. One that she had been planning since the beginning.

Possibly even before her memories were wiped.

Deep down, I know that's not the case, but letting them believe I'm anything but broken is the last thing I will do.

Given Fallan's horrid presence, the one thing I won't do is repeat past mistakes. Letting anyone see the actual thoughts rolling through my mind is a weakness.

I need to play my part as a grieving man, and I need to play it well, all while doing everything I can to bring Forest home.

The girl who turned her back on me was working for something bigger than her and me.

Forest knows something, and it's up to me to figure out what the hell it is.

I can convince everyone around me I feel nothing but pain from her actions.

I know the drive to bring her home triumphs over any lies she tried to convince me was reality.

Her heart is mine to safeguard.

She should know by now my love comes with no constraints.

Glancing back at the cabin, I stay leaned on the railing of the deck, entirely avoidant of all of those settled inside my home.

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