Page 70 of Offside Attraction

Tina nodded. "That's a lot to unpack."

Rhonda's fingers dug into the couch cushion. "I don't know how to explain it. He'd buy Mom flowers, but only if she did something he liked. He'd take us out to dinner, but only if we all acted perfect in public. It wasn't about us, it was about him." Rhonda's voice cracked. "I thought I was so smart. So aware. But I missed it. All those years, I missed it."

Tina shook her head. “You weren’t supposed to see it. He was your dad. That’s on him.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t make me any better at seeing reality.” She grabbed a pillow and held it to her chest. “I'm terrified that I'm going to make the same mistake my mom made. That I'm going to be used. That I already am being used."

“So you sleep with people,” Tina said, matter-of-factly, and a switch flipped in her head.

Mother.SO SHE SLEPT WITH PEOPLE. That was exactly it. Use them before they could use her. Get what she wanted so she didn’t have to wonder whether there would be a cost.

“Holy shit.” Rhonda studied the wood grain of the table like it was a commissions statement. “I think I need to go.” She stood up, her head spinning a little.

“Are you okay?” Tina asked, at the same time Anne squeaked, “Do you hate us?”

Rhonda laughed. “Yes, and no.” She rounded the table and pulled both of them into a hug. “Thank you.” She extracted herself and strode to the entry to put on her shoes. “Seriously, Thank you.”

_____

Rhonda stepped out of her car, keys jangling in her hand as she locked the doors. She hesitated in the parking lot, unwilling to walk into the Ice Centre just yet. She’d spent hours over the past few days on the phone with her mom. Not talking about bills or work. Not talking about anything except for her growing up and the way her mom had dealt with her broken marriage.

Rhonda wanted to know everything. How her mom had fallen for her father in the first place and, most importantly, why she stayed.

Since that moment in Anne and Tina’s apartment, everything in her life looked different. Some of it less shiny. Some of it brighter than it had been in years.

But that didn’t mean she knew what to do with it.

Rhonda drew a steadying breath and started toward the entrance, her boots crunching on the packed snow. The nervous energy that had been plaguing her all week hummed like static in her veins. Admitting to Tina and Anne that she had feelings for Jordan had shaken her like a snow globe and nothing inside her had settled.

She’d lived her whole life navigating casual relationships, and this? Whatever the hell this aching, collapsing, burning feeling was whenever she thought about Jordan? This was uncharted territory.

The doors to the Ice Centre swung open, and a blast of warm air hit her as she entered. She walked through the entry and into the stands, the roar of the crowd washing over her like a wave.

She scanned the sea of baby blue jerseys until she spotted Kelty’s jet-black hair and Jenna’s good-luck toque. Rhonda descended the stairs and scooted past other fans toward their group. Melissa was already there, and the two of them screamed like school girls, bouncing and hugging each other.

She hugged Jenna first. “Are you okay?”

Jenna nodded, a sadness sitting behind her eyes. “It’ll happen. When it’s right.” Her face lit up. “Did I tell you? Tyler has a lawyer friend. She’s coming to Calgary for some work thing, and she’s meeting with us. She’s done adoption work before.”

“That’s amazing. You’re a warrior.” Rhonda gave her one more hug, then sat in an open seat on the other side of her before people got pissed off that she was blocking their view.

She got a little choked up at Amaya and Bailey sitting with Aelin with their “Go, Daddy!” sign. It was adorable, but that plus seeing Jenna was too much.

It was like a valve had been opened on Monday, and she couldn’t shut it off. A constant flood of emotions wreaked havoc on her system at all hours of the day. She probably wasn’t fit for human interaction at the moment.

Her mom had been nineteen when she met her dad. She’d only been in one other relationship.

Rhonda cheered as the Snowballs took the ice, her claps half-hearted compared to the enthusiasm around her. Her stomach churned as she glanced down the row. Jenna, Anne, Emma, and Penny were all decked out in Snowballs jerseys, their energy infectious.

Her dad showered her in gifts and never let her give anything in return.

Rhonda’s eyes migrated to the opposite side of the ice. Jordan Wheatfill, with the “C” on his jersey. The guy the entire Snowballs fan section loved to hate. He skated out with long, deliberate strides, his presence commanding. He’d leaned down and picked up the gifts she brought. He hadn’t told her she couldn’t bring him something. He’d let her say thank you.

Jordan skated into position for a face-off with Sean, his eyes locked on the puck. Rhonda's breath caught in her throat as she watched his muscles tense, his stick poised. The referee dropped the puck, and in an instant, Jordan snapped it back to his defenceman.

Rhonda glanced at Anne and Tina, trying to play it cool, but by the glints in their eyes, they knew exactly what was going on in her head. She shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth, hoping the crunch would drown out the sound of her pulse thudding in her ears.

Her mom didn’t want to have kids right away, and her dad told her she wouldn’t get pregnant if they used condoms. He said he knew her cycle, and she believed him.

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