Like I was burying something inside.

My happiness, maybe.

Or a little bit of my soul.

I stumbled back towards Don Vicari’s like a zombie.

That’s exactly what I felt like:

A zombie.

Dead inside.

When I got back to the compound, none of the foot soldiers bothered me.

Nobody said anything until Isabella saw me shuffling up to my room.

“How did it – ” she started happily –

And then she saw my face.

Her eyes widened, and she looked like she might cry.

“Oh, Valentino,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry…”

“…me too,” I mumbled, then turned and kept on walking.

“Valentino?” she asked.

I stopped but didn’t look back at her.

“You and I… we’re still… we’re still good, right?” I could hear the fear in her voice. “We’re still getting married tomorrow… right?”

I stared straight ahead.

“…yes,” I finally muttered.

After all…

I didn’t have any other choice.

101

That was the worst night of my life.

I didn’t come out of my room for dinner. I just laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, and thought about all the things I could have done differently.

I couldn’t sleep.

All I could do was replay the scene with Cat over and over.

I love you.

A part of me will always love you.

But… now I have to start loving myself.

It was good she’d said that.