Page 282 of Mafia Kings: Valentino

And now I really AM in hell.

I didn’t say anything for a long while.

When I did, it was a whisper.

“…no.”

I could hear the disbelief in his voice. “…what?”

Tears started streaming down my cheeks. “Leave her. Come with me. Let’s run away and never look back.”

“Didn’t you hear anything I just said?!”

“Yes. I heard, and I’m still asking you. I’mbeggingyou.Please.”

He stood there, caught between indecision and despair.

Then, finally:

“I can’t.”

That’s when I knew it:

This is it.

This is the end.

It’s over.

I sobbed, my entire body wracked with pain.

“Babe,” he whispered, and reached out again –

But I put up a hand to ward him off.

Eventually, I got enough control of myself to speak.

When I did, I smiled sadly.

“I love you,” I whispered. “I’vealwaysloved you – from the first moment we were together. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now.Iwant to be the one to marry you.Iwant to be the one to have your babies.Iwant to be the one you grow old with.

“But… you don’t want that. Not enough to actually do anything about it.

“And that’s… it sucks. It really,REALLYsucks. But it is what it is. You never promised me forever. You never lied, not once.

“But here’s the thing, Val: I’ve always been your dirty little secret. The servant girl you fucked in the pantry. The one you wouldn’t admit to your family you were sleeping with. The one you didn’t want to marry.”

His face contorted in pain. “Cat – ”

“Just – let me finish, alright? I need to say this – forme– so let me finish. Please. Just give methat.”

He stood there in silence, waiting.

I looked down at the floor… sobbed again for a few seconds… then looked up and forced myself to say it.

“I can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on being the second choice… the dirty little secret you’re ashamed of.

“I love you. A part of me willalwayslove you. But… now I have to start loving myself.”

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