Page 71 of Mafia Kings: Valentino

“Be that as it may… if youdon’tmarry Don Vicari’s daughter, and he and the rest of the Councilvote against our family… then Fausto gets to do whatever the fuck he wants. And right now, he’s winning. So when you get gunned down like they tried to do to Massimo last week, and you’re lying there bleeding in the dirt, you’ll bewishingyou’d gone to live a life of luxury in the Sicilian countryside.”

“At least I’d die a free man, with a gun in my hand and nobody telling me what the fuck to do,” I snapped.

“Then I guess you should have taken Dario’s deal,” Niccolo said coldly.

He got up and walked away.

I guess you should have taken Dario’s deal.

I hated Niccolo with a passion right now –

But his words had the ring of truth.

I thought back to Caterina, my heart aching, and wondered,Why didn’t I?

Why DIDN’T I take the deal?

If I was going to be honest, it’s because it scared the shit out of me.

Dario’s words echoed in my memory:

You SWEAR to me you’ll be faithful to her your entire life. No other women – no affairs.

I was 22 years old. I had no fucking clue what I wanted out of life –

But I knew I didn’t want to have to make that decisionright now.

I wantedtime.

I wanted toparty.

I wanted to beyoung.

Did I care for Caterina?

Hell yes, I cared for her.

I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Iwantedher, deep in my bones.

But promising to be married to her for the next 50 years?

And never getting to touch another woman,ever?

That scared the hell out of me.

And, yeah, while I was getting forced into a similar mess by having to marry some chick I’d never even met…

It felt different.

In one situation, I was beingforcedto do it.

In the other… I’d have to willingly do it.

I’dhave to make the choice.

And as fucked up as it sounds…

I almost preferred beingforcedto do it.

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