Page 82 of Roberto

“Vittoria.”

“Right, Vittoria. So after she taught you, what happened? Did you go on a rampage, sleeping with dozens of women?” Mei-ling asked wryly, like she was resigned to hearing about years of bad behavior.

“No, actually. I was already involved in my family business, and I had some funds at my disposal, so I paid Vittoria enough that she could stop working at the brothel. I was her sole client for a couple of years.”

Mei-ling propped herself up on one elbow and looked at me in surprise. “So you had a relationship with her?”

“More or less. I would call it an ‘arrangement.’”

“Did you love her?”

When I didn’t answer immediately, Mei-ling said, “I’m sorry, that was too personal – ”

“It’s fine. No… I can’t say that I’ve ever been in love.”

Mei-ling stared at me. “Never?”

“No. But… Icaredfor Vittoria. And she cared for me. That was enough. She was the only woman I slept with the entire time we were together, and I’m fairly certain she was faithful to me.”

“What happened? Did you break up?”

“Unfortunately, no. She’d had a traumatic life before we met and was an addict. Opioid pills – oxycontin, mostly. I paid for her to go to rehab, and she stayed clean for a year, but she relapsed. She didn’t tell me when she started using again. Maybe she was ashamed. Maybe she didn’t want me to stop her… I don’tknow.” I tried to smile but failed. “Sometimes people’s demons get the best of them.

“I lived an hour away from her, in the countryside outside Florence, and I was busy with my family’s business. I only saw her every other week, so she was able to hide her drug use from me. But one night, she took too much… and she overdosed and died.”

Mei-ling stared at me in horror.

“I was the one who took care of her funeral. No one from her family came – it was just me and some of her friends from the brothel,” I said quietly. I paused for a long time, then finally said, “I didn’t see anyone for a long time afterwards.”

“I’m so sorry,” Mei-ling whispered. I could hear the pain in her voice.

“Thank you. It was several years ago, though, so it’s been a while.”

“Still… that’s awful.”

“It was at the time, yes… but it’s in the past.”

And it was.

But I immediately regretted telling Mei-ling.

I’d killed the mood, so I tried to restore it by being funny.

“Well, on that tragic and uncomfortable note – ”

“Stop,” Mei-ling whispered.

She put her hand tenderly on my face as she looked deep into my eyes.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to ‘entertain’ me. You don’t have to ‘perform’.” She smiled sadly, and tears glistened in her eyes. “I appreciate you telling me. I really do.”

“…thank you,” I murmured.

I felt at peace…

Like I could be myself –trulymyself – with her.

Which, for me, was a rare feeling indeed.