Page 230 of Roberto

Iwas heartbroken.

I could notbelieveI’d fallen for a man in the same line of work as my father and Lau –

The two men who had fuckingruinedmy life.

Roberto had a darkness to him, yes – the dominance he displayed in the bedroom that turned me on so much –

But he was also kind.

He wasgood.

Or he’dseemedgood, anyway, until I found out the fucking truth.

After he left and I’d sobbed nonstop for an hour, I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself.

Except for my swollen red eyes, I looked the same on the outside…

But inside, it felt like my heart and soul had been shattered.

I was in so much pain…

Pain I hadn’t felt inyears,and which I’d sworn I would never feel again.

So much forthatpromise.

That night, I drank myself into a stupor with two bottles of white wine.

I woke up the next morning with a horrific hangover.

I wanted to lie there in bed, binge Netflix, and try not to think about him…

But I had a business to run.

I’d basically ignored De Sade while Roberto was in my life…

But now that he was gone, it was time to go back to work.

I forced myself to get up, shower, and make some coffee.

As I stood there waiting for it to brew, I tried not to look at the kitchen island where I’d been with Roberto so many times…

Like the time we’d discussed what we would and wouldn’t do in bed…

Right before I’d had the best sex of my life with him.

The best sex of my life –

That is, until thenextnight, when it had gotten even better.

And better and better every single time.

My heartbreak made me want to drink myself into oblivion again…

But the show must go on.

I took a few swigs of coffee and forced myself to put my emotional armor on…

And go back out into the world.

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