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And the feeling of the ropes around my ankles and wrists.

The next day, I called the airline and changed my flight so I didn’t have to sit next to my boyfriend on the trip home.

I thought about staying another week in Bangkok and going back to the club to see Yeong –

But in the harsh light of day, I was mortified by what I’d done the previous night…

So I decided against it.

Once I returned to Hong Kong, I texted my boyfriend we were through and blocked his number.

I felt a little guilty –

But mostly, I was relieved.

I couldn’t go back to more boring, mediocre sex with him –

Not after what I’d experienced at the club.

Still, I had an internship to start, so I put aside my memories of that night.

I was determined to forget all about Thailand and go back to my normal life –

But nothing about it would ever be normal again.

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Once I returned to Hong Kong, my life fell into an outward semblance of order.

Graduate school didn’t start for another six weeks, but my internship began immediately.

During the day, I did mind-numbing, entry-level work at one of the largest investment banks in Hong Kong.

At night, I would lie awake in bed for hours and relive that evening in Bangkok.

Being tied up…

A gorgeous man touching me…

Bringing me to an ecstasy I had only dreamed of.

Finally, my frustration reached a peak. I knew I couldn’t keep up my boring life withoutsomesort of release…

So I went hunting.

I started with the internet and educated myself about BDSM.

Not just the fantasies ofFifty Shades of Grey–

But actual, real-world activities.

It turned out I had a bondage kink. Definitely not sadism or masochism, and probably not being dominated. (Or so I thought for a long, long time.)

I looked into various forms of bondage and decided I liked ropes and scarves – softer things. Not chains or shackles.

Once I had a better understanding of what I wanted, I began to seek it out.

I looked online for clubs similar to what I’d seen in Thailand –

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