Page 95 of Borrow My Heart

Zoey shook her head no.

“That sucks,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

“Did it not bother you, too, when Mom left us in Tahoe?” she asked. “Why are you so calm about it?”

“Zoey, what you did and said hurt me way more than what Mom did this weekend. I had already put up boundaries with Mom. I didn’t think I had to with you.”

“But youdowith me, Wren. You put them up with everyone.”

“So do you. You just do it in a different way.”

She looked at her hands in her lap. “You’re right. And I don’t want to. Not with you. I’ve been trying to ignore what Mom did for years and the comments you make about her, totally justifiedcomments, always snap me back to reality. I think I just started resenting them and you for making them. I was shifting the blame. I’ve been a horrible sister.”

My eyes began leaking again. Zoey stood and walked the ten steps between the couches and pulled me into a hug. “You’re supposed to be my little sister,” she said. “You’re not supposed to have a better understanding of Mom than I do.”

I gave a breathy laugh. “I’m just more jaded is all. You’re soft and nice and you like everybody.”

“You’re soft on the inside even though you try to hide it. I’ve seen you with the animals. You have so much love to give. Don’t let her close you up, Wren. Don’t let anybody close you up.”

Our dad joined us. “Can I get in on this?” He held his arms open and my sister and I stood and let ourselves be crushed inthem.

“Thanks for being predictable and boring, Dad,” I said.

“Um…you’re welcome?”

“No, she’s right,” Zoey said. “We’d be screwed up without you. Mom was…is…so unreliable. Knowing I could always count on you helped me live.”

I thought about the wedding video still sitting in my suitcase with the other things I hadn’t unpacked yet. How free and fun our dad had been. After that, he became what he knew we needed and I loved him fiercely for that. I took a step back out of his arms. “But, Dad, we’re basically grown now.”

“You still have a few more years, but yes.”

“If you want to take risks, try something you couldn’t before because you had to carry everything on your back, we wantyou to. We’re okay with a little uncertainty now. We want you to be happy.” How had I not realized until this moment that my dad stayed at Niles’s shop for us? It was the security we all needed.

“Yes, date! You should date,” Zoey said.

“I was thinking opening your own shop, but sure, if you want to date, that’s an option too,” I said.

Our dad laughed. “I’m not sure I’ll do either of those things right now, but that’s sweet.”

“But you could,” I said. “We’ll be okay, even if you crash and burn.”

He nodded as what we were saying seemed to sink in. “It hasn’t been a sacrifice, you know, raising you two. I’ve never felt burdened. It’s been my pleasure.”

My sister was crying again. Actually, so was I. And as we stood there, in a group hug, I knew that no matter how messed up the rest of my life seemed at the moment, everything would be okay. I had my family.

“On a level of one to ten, how ragey are you feeling right now?” Kamala said the next day as I sat in the corner of the coffee shop reading a book titledBird-Watching Your Way to Happiness.

“Nine,” I said.

“Nine? That high?”

“Well, I was a ten, but I’ve been reading about warblers and that took me down a point.” I turned the book toward her, showing hera page full of colorful songbirds. “I wonder if my dad is allergic to birds.”

“Think hard about those warblers because we’re about to have a visitor.”

“What? Who?” I turned toward the door. Dale was standing just outside it.

I closed the book with a loud smack and replaced it on the shelf. “Did you invite him here?”

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