Page 44 of Mr. Broody

I hear her come over, the stool next to me sliding across the floor, then her arm wraps around my shoulders. “I’m sorry too. I just… I don’t know.”

I pick up my head and wipe the tears from my eyes. I haven’t cried this much in years.

“Are you happy?” Mom asks, sliding onto the stool next to me, crossing her legs and taking my hands.

I shrug. “Sort of.”

“You sure have been doing a lot of sacrificing for the answer to be sort of.” There’s no more anger on her face.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you still love exploring the world and taking beautiful pictures?”

“I think so.”

She runs her hand over my upper arm. “Love is wonderful, but it can be a very scary thing. Especially to a little girl who always came second in her father’s life.”

I shake my head, even though something in my chest pinches at her words. “But I had Reed… and Dad is Dad, we know that.”

She tilts her head and nods. “Maybe you know that at thirty, but at eight years old, you didn’t. And Reed is a great replacement, he loves you as his own, but he’s not your dad.”

I stare at the countertop, my finger tracing the design of the quartz. “What does that have to do with Henry?”

“Do you think maybe you were afraid that hockey would replace you, and that’s why you hung on so tightly?”

I open my mouth and shake my head. “I was never insecure about Henry’s love for me.”

“I know, sweetie, and that boy loves you just as much as you love him, believe me. God, the years you were gone, he’d try to be so carefree when bringing you up in the conversation when I’m pretty sure it was the first thing he wanted to ask. But sometimes people self-sabotage things because they’re scared of what the outcome might be.”

More tears fill my eyes. “It’s too late. He’s made his life, and he’s happy. I don’t want to disturb that.”

Her shoulders sink, and she shakes her head. “I’m just going to say this once and then we’re going to make some tuna fish sandwiches and eat. Henry’s job is to protect Bodhi, and he’s going to hurt himself to make sure that little boy’s heart doesn’t break. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t always room for more love. But I think whoever is blessed to be in Henry and Bodhi’s lives has to love herself and know her worth. And she definitely has to make sure she knows what she wants.”

“Are you saying I wasted eight years of my life?”

She laughs and stands. “There are lessons learned on every journey, but I also think that’s not what you should be dwelling on right now. You and Henry are different versions of yourselves, your situations are different than when you first fell in love. You two found something rare at a really young age, and maybe you take this time to rediscover who you each are now and see where it can take you. I’m pretty sure you’ll find out a lot about yourself in that process.” She kisses my temple and wraps her arms around me. So many decisions to be made in just that one stream of advice.

The back door opens. Waylon’s complaining to Owen about practice and what he didn’t do.

“Will you two stop?” Reed says with no small amount of exasperation.

“Who died?” Owen asks.

Mom and I turn to see all three of them standing at the door, staring at us.

Men.

Nineteen

Henry

“Okay, if I save five goals, you gotta spill,” Conor says at practice before our game against Colorado.

“What am I missing?” Rowan comes over and pivots to a stop.

“Nothing.” I drop a few pucks on the ice, preparing to shoot them at the net.

“Someone had a guest the other day when Bodhi was out of the house.” Conor puts on his mask.

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