Page 23 of Pledge Of A Bobcat

How could I let myself feel so deeply about someone when I still carried the memory of James with me everywhere?

It didn’t feel right. It felt like a betrayal to James. Even so, I couldn’t deny the pull I felt toward Ellis. It was confusing, overwhelming, and I was torn between what I felt and what I thought I should feel when it came to him.

“Rachel, is that you?” Aunt Maribel called from the kitchen.

“Yeah. I’m home,” I said, plastering a smile on my face as I stepped away from the door.

“Mommy!” Serenity said, running to me.

I lifted her into my arms and hugged her tight. “Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” She grinned. “My throat hurt, so I got to eat ice cream again.”

I shot a look at Aunt Maribel. “Oh, really?”

“It helped with her throat.” She shrugged.

My gaze shifted to the large pot on the stove. I realized then she’d made a big batch of stew. Clearly, she’d been under the impression Ellis would be staying for dinner.

At the thought of him, the memory of his lips on mine surfaced and my heart rate spiked.

“Where’s Ellis?” Aunt Maribel asked, her tone light but knowing. “I made enough stew for him, too,” she said, ladling up a bowl.

“I sent him home,” I replied, avoiding her gaze as I carried Serenity to the table. “I’ll bring your bowl to you. Stay here.”

I headed to where Aunt Maribel stood in the kitchen at the stove. Her eyes were on me, but I couldn’t meet her stare.

“How did gathering the soil go?” she asked, and I couldn’t help but wonder why she wasn’t pushing me to explain why I’d sent Ellis away.

When I locked eyes with her, there was a twinkle in them that told me she knew something had happened to me at Lucius’s grave.

“You knew, didn’t you?” I whispered so Serenity wouldn’t hear our conversation. There was a hint of accusation in my voice. “You knew something would happen if I went, didn’t you? It’s why you were so adamant about me going with him.”

A playful smile tugged at her lips. “The wind may have whispered a few things to me about it. It does that sometimes.”

I sighed, half-annoyed, half-comforted by her cryptic answer. “You always seem to know everything before it happens, don’t you?”

“Not everything,” she said, shaking her head while she focused on ladling another bowl of stew. “Just the things that matter.” The look she gave me then had me wondering if she knew about the kiss, too.

Who was I kidding? Of course she knew. The darn wind seemed to tell her everything, what it didn’t, her tarot cards did.

I picked up the bowl of stew intended for Serenity and then a second for myself.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” I admitted. “We kissed and I liked it. I wanted it, but I feel like I shouldn’t have. It feels like I’m betraying James.”

“Liking someone doesn’t mean you forget what you’ve lost,” Aunt Maribel said gently, shifting her attention back to me. “Loving someone doesn’t either. You’re allowed to live, Rachel. You’re allowed to feel and move on. There’s no rule that says you have to remain rooted in time.”

I bit my bottom lip, feeling guilt still twisting in my chest, but there was also a small sense of hope. “And the power?” I asked, changing the subject, desperate for a distraction from Ellis. “I don’t even know how I did it, but I moved that man with my mind. I flung him backward. I don’t think I could do it again.”

“Oh, you can,” she said with certainty, and I wished I had even half the confidence she had in me. “It will take practice, of course, but it’s always there. Waiting. You just need to learn how to call on it without letting your emotions do the calling for you. Once you master that, you’ll see how powerful you can be. Remember, fear is a cage, but you hold the key.”

Her words struck me. Maybe she was right. Maybe I could learn to control it—to master it.

I took the two bowls of stew to the table and ate, trying to keep my mind clear. It was a struggle, because every thought kept coming back to Ellis and that kiss that seemed to change everything.

After dinner, I settled into the usual evening routine of helping Aunt Maribel clean the kitchen. I tried to listen to Serenity while she rattled on to me while playing on the kitchen floor with her favorite stuffed rabbit about the tea party she and Aunt Maribel had planned for tomorrow afternoon, but my mind kept drifting back to Ellis.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling of his lips on mine, the way his hands had gently cupped my face, grounding me after the chaos with Xander.

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