She huffed out a breath. “I’m not sure I could take better. That was amazing. You blew my mind.”

He smoothed his thumb over her lower lip, his gaze fixed on her like he wanted her again. He made her feel so good.

“I wanted to last longer. I was so excited about having you here.”

His words brought happiness to her heart. “You like me being here.”

“Of course. I did say I wanted you here.”

She hadn’t felt this way about anyone other than Jesse. At first, she’d thought it was just the excitement of a vacationfling, but now, she knew what she’d felt for him back then had been so much more. “I’m glad I came out here. I still need to finish writing the article, but I have some time before my next assignment.”

Jesse frowned as she slid off him and rolled to her side. He stood and headed into the bathroom. Through the opening, she could see him toss the condom into the trash. She stood to follow him, worry filling her.

“Everything okay?”

After washing his hands, he turned to her, his expression serious. “I don’t like the idea of you leaving. I know that’s not going to be tomorrow or maybe even the next day. I’m being selfish. You have your job, and I have mine. I just don’t want this to end. I…”

He trailed off, and she moved to him, cupping his face in her hands as she studied him. He looked a little sad, and she wanted to kiss that sadness away.

“We walked away from each other last time because neither of us were ready for a real relationship. I’ve matured since then, and I’m sure you have, too.”

He nodded. “I’m also being selfish because I know if I was called out or deployed tomorrow, I would go. And I’m being a jerk because I don’t want you to go. But that’s your job, and I’m getting ahead of myself. We haven’t discussed anything, and I’m putting us in a relationship in my head.”

He was getting ahead of himself, but she understood his worry. Were they asking for trouble talking about a future when they’d just gotten back together? This man was different from any other guy she’d ever been with, or she at least felt differently about him.

The last time they’d been together, he’d touched something inside her, but she’d played it off as a vacation fling. Surely it was impossible to find something real with a guy she met inparadise and fucked like he was her personal pogo stick. But the way he stuck with her, in her dreams, her thoughts, she should have admitted before now that the chemistry between them was special. They had different lives and responsibilities. Could they work, or were they asking for trouble getting involved now?

Chapter 18

Jay didn’t wantto scare Nichole away by getting too serious too fast, but this woman made him feel things he’d never felt before. She twisted through him, getting deep into his soul. Before, he’d ignored the feelings and pushed away the longing. Now, with her in his house, he couldn’t ignore the truth.

“It’s wrong of me to want you to stay here.”

Her hand landed on his pec, her palm a warm salve to the wild emotions running through him. “If you leave on a mission, you’d come back, right?” The way her eyebrows raised as she asked made his heart melt.

“As long as I had breath in me.”

“So what would be different about me leaving for an assignment?”

He bit his lower lip and shook his head. “It’s going to make me sound stupid or maybe just shitty.”

She rolled her eyes, looking way cuter than anyone had a right to look when they were annoyed. “Just say it.”

He drew in a slow breath and closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts so he didn’t sound like a jerk. When he opened his eyes, she still looked as annoyed.

“Because I’m nothing special. If you leave, you’ll figure out I’m nothing. I might be a SEAL, and maybe I’m supposed to have this huge ego that doesn’t allow for insecurity, but I know you’ll find people who are much more interesting than I am. You’ll realize I’m nothing, and you’ll walk away. It’s stupid.”

Her eyes softened, and she cupped his face. “Jesse, I can’t make you feel more secure. You have to do that on your own, but if I make a commitment to you, I will honor it.”

“This isn’t want I wanted to do.”

She took a step back, and he wanted to reach out and pull her close again. He needed to explain better.

“I didn’t want to get so serious that I screwed this up. I have these feelings, things I haven’t wanted to admit to myself, and?—”

“When I was being held captive, all I could think of was that I didn’t have a chance to tell you I had feelings for you. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. And it may be silly because we don’t know each other, but I want to get serious with you. I want to do this.”

His heart expanded as her words sank in. She wanted what he wanted. Wanted their relationship to grow and last, and the only way for that to happen was for them to spend time together.