Page 26 of Baldr's Secret Mate

“I had a rabbit once,” I smiled, looking over at Baldr. “His name was Fluffy.”

“Original name,” Baldr chuckled. “You never told me about him.”

The smile faded. “Well, I didn’t have him for long.”

“What happened?”

“Tyr…”

Baldr was silent, but I could almost feel him seething with anger next to me.

“He brought it to me one spring, telling me it was so I didn’t feel lonely. Fluffy was so tiny that he fit in the palm of my hand. I thought, for a moment, that Tyr had finally cracked and done something kind for me. That he might not be as bad as I thought.” I sighed, shaking my head. “I spent every waking moment caring for that rabbit, keeping him safe, and getting him food. He was my constant companion and for a couple months, I felt almost normal.”

I stopped and Baldr stiffened next to me in anticipation. He knew what was coming before I’d even said it.

“Then Tyr came one day, picked him up the scruff of the neck, and demanded I do magic. When I couldn’t draw on my power, he… he snapped Fluffy’s neck and tossed him on the ground in front of me.”

“God I wish that man was dead,” Baldr growled.

“He almost died that day,” I replied, my voice low.

“What? How?”

“My magic.” My voice shook as I recalled the feeling of losing control and total chaos taking over my body. “It… It exploded out of me in waves of blue and sickly green. It wrapped around him and nearly choked the life out of him.” I felt myself choke up. “If I’d been able to hold out just a few more seconds… Tyr would’ve been dead years ago and I wouldn’t have had to deal with his malice and torture for all this time. But the magic was too much for me to handle. When I awoke Tyr was gone, nothing but a giant crater left in the earth where he’d stood. I held out hope for a few days that I’d killed him. But he came back. He always came back.”

“I… I never knew…”

“I didn’t want to scare you,” I said, reaching up and wiping the tears from my eyes. “And I didn’t want you to know it was my fault that Tyr tortured me. Or that he tried to kill you.”

“None of that was your fault–”

“It was,” I said, cutting him off. “Because I gave him a taste of my power and let him live. I didn’t teach him to fear me that day. Instead, I taught him that I could be broken. And ever since then, I’ve done everything I could to keep my emotions at bay.” I glanced over at Baldr, sadness curling up the back of my throat. “But when I thought he was going to kill you… I almost lost control again. I couldn’t bear the thought of my only friend in the whole world being gone. Not… Not again.”

Baldr stopped, reaching out and pulling me into a hug. I returned the gesture, savoring the heat of his body against my own. I felt a sort of shock where our bare skin touched. It made me feel alive and cared for, something I wasn’t used to in either respect.

“But I’m okay,” Baldr said softly against my neck. “And even if something does happen to me someday, it won’t be your fault.”

“You don’t know that…”

“No,” he said sternly, pulling back and looking me in the eye. There was something there in his gaze, like he knew something that I didn’t. “I need you to promise me that if anything happens to me, you will not blame yourself no matter the circumstances.”

“But… you’re not going anywhere. Are you?”

He didn’t answer my question. “Just promise me. And mean it.”

I stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure out what he meant. But when I couldn’t puzzle him out, I just sighed.

“Alright. I promise.”

He let out a long sigh before giving me another hug. “Now come on. Let’s find a place to finally rest.”

I watched him walk a few feet before hurrying after him. He was hiding something from me, I just wished I knew what it was so I could help. I hated to see him hurting. That look he’d given me was a mixture of pain and knowing. I didn’t know a single detail beyond that, but it broke my heart, anyway. Out of everyone I’d ever known, Baldr was the one who deserved happiness the most. Something was holding him back though, and I needed to find out what it was. Not because I had to know, but because I wanted to help him through it. It was the least I could do after all he’d done for me.

With a sigh, I tucked away my feelings for the time being. I’d planned to tell him everything, but now that I saw the hurt in his eyes, it felt wrong to add more stress to his life. For now we would concentrate on getting home. And then, once the craziness was over, maybe then we could finally be truly honest with one another at last.

Chapter Fifteen: Baldr

By the time we found a suitable place to spend the night, the sun was sinking low in the sky. We’d kept inside the woods the entire journey, trying to stay out of sight in case someone or something came looking for the source of the smoke. It wasn’t a difficult journey for the first hour or so, but after that we started have to weave our way through not only the trees, but several large jutting boulders as well. It wasn’t until we came to a small clearing where more sunlight could come through that I realized they weren’t boulders, but ruins of an ancient city overgrown by the forest.

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