Page 23 of That's the Way Rejection Goes

At first, I thought it was just anxiety creeping in around the edges of my joy. A nervous energy from being by myself for so long. But the more I touched them, the louder it grew. And when Calum grabbed my buckle, the wolf inside me nearly exploded out. The last time I felt something that strong had been…

No. I wasn’t going to think about that. That was over a decade ago and I didn’t want to revisit those painful memories. It had been so long since I’d thought about…him. As much as I wanted to find my mate and find love in this lifetime, there was a part of me deep down that thought I didn’t deserve it. That I’d already had it and blown my chance.

How was I supposed to continue on with these two Alphas when all I could think about the moment they touched me was a love I would never have? And they couldn’t be my mates, anyway. As much as my heart and my head wanted to believe that, I knew it couldn’t be true. I’d already found my mate long ago and he didn’t want me anymore. He hadn’t wanted me for years. So how could anyone else want me when my one true person didn’t even know I existed anymore? And two Alphas? Forget it. There was no way we were mates. It was a statistical impossibility.

So, I sat there on the floor of my room with my back against the cold door, knowing that I’d just messed up my one chance at finally getting some attention. After all these years of thinking that I’d moved on, that I was over everything that had happened in my past, it was a rude awakening to realize that not only was Inotover it, but it was sabotaging any chance I had at temporary happiness or release.

I just wished I knew how to fix it. But I didn’t. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled out my phone and began typing a message to my oldest friend.

Me: Hey Ace… can we meet up tomorrow or something? Just the two of us? I need to talk.

Ace: Yeah. When and where?

Me: Let’s go down to the beach. We can grab coffee on the way.

Ace: You okay?

Me: Not as much as I thought, apparently.

Ace: Don’t worry. If anyone can figure it out, we can.

Me: Thanks buddy.

Ace: See you soon.

I put my phone down and hugged my knees to my chest. Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against my crossed arms and forced myself to breathe as regularly as I could. Everything was going to be okay. It had to be. And until I got myself figured out, it was probably a good idea to avoid those Alphas.

And that, despite the pain and trepidation, was going to be difficult.

Chapter Twelve: Erick

“Ithink we fucked up,” Calum sighed, falling back onto the bed. “Shit.”

“Should I go after him?” I asked, glancing back at my mate. “Just to make sure he’s okay?”

“I don’t know… I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

“Neither have I. When we met, we couldn’t keep our hands off one another. I thought that’s how this was going and then…bam. It’s over.”

“It’s my fault,” Calum grumbled, throwing an arm over his face to block out the light. “I shouldn’t have gone for the belt.”

“It could’ve been me,” I said, flopping down next to him. “I had half his neck in my mouth.”

“Do you think we ruined it completely?” Calum rubbed his face, groaning. “I really don’t want it to be over already. I was feeling… I don’t know…reallygood about all that.”

I glanced down at the massive bulge in his pants. “I can tell.” Then I looked at my own which was just as noticeable. “And so was I.”

“What do you think we should do?”

I thought about it for a moment, scooting my way over to Calum and draping my arm over his chest. “I think we should give him some time to think about it. Clearly something set him off and we can ask him to explain so we can do better. But for now, I think he just needs some time to himself. Nobody rushes off like that unless they are just suddenly overwhelmed.” I paused for a moment, doubting myself. “Right?”

“I mean, it sounds right, but I don’t fucking know.” He let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I still feel like it’s my fault.”

“Calum,” I said, pulling his arm away and forcing him to look at me. “Even if it was something you did, you didn’t do it on purpose. As far as we knew, everything was just fine. After all, he was participating just as much as we were.”

“Are you sure?”

“You should’ve felt the way he was gripping my hair.” I bit my lower lip, grinning down at him. “He was really into it.”

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