Page 11 of That's the Way Rejection Goes

So I avoided Sam for the most part. And I avoided talking about him. Thankfully, Erick seemed to want to avoid him as well. He stayed in the room most days while I was out, working on his websites or building some new app I didn’t understand. And I went out, worked, and came home with a few donuts in a box for the both of us. It was a simple arrangement, but it kept me out of trouble and that’s where I wanted to stay.

However, there was a tinge of sadness to the entire ordeal. We’d been traveling for so long that we hadn’t had time to really process everything that had happened. Now that we were settled and falling into a routine, grief was catching up with us. Erick was being quieter than usual, and I was doing the same, really. I found myself lost in thought a lot of the time, thinking about everything I’d left behind back in Missouri. Granted, I’d give it all up a hundred times over if it meant staying with Erick. But I still felt the loss.

I wanted to ask Erick how he was doing too, but I didn’t dare bring it up. While my own father saw me as his heir and not much else, Erick’s father was much more emotionally involved. They actually had a good relationship, but it came with rules, just like mine did. And us being together broke too many rules for his parents to turn a blind eye. So, just like me, he was forced to choose.

I was glad he chose me. But I knew the upheaval was felt more acutely on his side of the relationship. Watching him struggle and grieve broke my heart. But there was nothing I could do to fix it besides being there for him. So that’s what I did. When I got home at night we shared pastries, cuddled, watched stupid videos, and fucked. It was mindless and indulgent, but what else did we have to do? Shifter Grove was under a foot of snow and the wolves in the town were strangers to us. Short of a lock on the front door, we were pretty much trapped in the hotel until spring. Besides, I wasn’t really sure we wanted to even try to get to know the wolves in town. Chances were, come spring, we’d pack up our things and keep heading north. Putting as much distance between us and our families was a good idea, especially since we’d caused a war.

“I wish there was something else to do around here,” Erick sighed as we laid in bed that night. “I love being with you all the time, but this hotel room… it’sdepressing.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I nodded, running my fingers through his hair. “The work at the bakery is okay, but we’re almost done already. Probably only got another couple of days before I’m back to being bored again too.”

“I haven’t done anything since helping…” Erick paused, not letting himself say the name. “Since helping with the lobby computer. I feel like I spend all day surfing the internet hoping something will just fall in my lap.”

Curiosity stirred in my gut, and I felt like I needed to ask. “So… why do you avoid talking about Sam?” I asked, knowing full well that I should be the one making a confession. “Did something happen?”

Erick, very uncharacteristically, didn’t meet my gaze. Instead, he put his phone down and turned away from me. My heart rate picked up immediately. I was suddenly terrified that Sam had told Erick what I’d done.

“Did he say something?” I asked, trying to stamp down my own fear. “Something about me?”

“No. Not about you.”

“But something happened?”

Erick looked back at me, his eyes glistening like he was about to cry. I recognized that look on his face. I’d only seen it a few times, but it told me there were lots of emotions being held back. He wanted to spill them desperately, but he was scared. I was starting to worry that his avoidance wasn’t about me at all. So, what could possibly have gone on between them to get Erick so worked up?

“It’s okay,” I added. “Whatever happened, I’ll help you through it. I love you more than anything and I’m here for you.”

“I… I’m afraid to say it.” He paused. “I… I don’t think you’ll like it.”

I leaned close, kissing him softly and grabbing his hand. “It’s not gonna bother me. Promise.”

Erick stared at me for a long moment before taking a deep breath. “You know how we were joking about Sam being attractive?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I… I don’t think it was a joke for me.”

I furrowed my brows in confusion. “You can think he’s hot. I wasn’t kidding about that.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t make a move on him either.”

My heart skipped a beat, and I clamped my mouth shut.

“I didn’t know what I was doing,” Erick continued, talking faster and faster. “It was like something came over me. The wolf inside me was going crazy and his scent was making it hard to think. As soon as I got close to him it felt like I wasn’t in control anymore.” He looked up at me. “We didn’t do anything. Not even a kiss. I brushed some hair out of his face, and I touched his shoulder, but I… Iwantedto fuck him. It almost felt like Ineededto.” Erick turned away, shaking his head. “And he’s the only reason I stopped, the only reason I realized what was going on. He told me I was a terrible mate for trying to betray you… and… and he wasright. I’m such a piece of shit…”

I wrapped my arms around Erick without a second thought, pulling him in close as he began to cry. He sniffled and leaned against me, but I could tell he wanted to run, that his skin was crawling with regret and shame. In fact, it probably felt like mine since I was comforting him for something I’dalsodone.

“I still don’t know why I did it,” he said, hiccoughing through his words. “I just… I couldn’t help it. It felt like when I first met you. I just couldn’t think about anything else.”

“It’s okay, Erick,” I cooed. “I promise.”

“How can you say that?!” he shot back, looking up at me. “How can you be so cool about all this?”

I looked down into those deep brown eyes of his and took a deep breath. My eyes teared up almost instantly as I realized what I was about to say and how much it would hurt him. But I couldn’t just sit there and let him self-flagellate while I was just as guilty.

“Because,” I replied slowly. “I made a pass at him too.”

His sniffles stopped instantly. “You… You what?”

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