Page 21 of Fierce Family

“What are you doing?” Gregory is standing in front of me and staring at his mobile in my hand.

“What is this?” I ask and hold up the screen to him. I can barely speak because my heart is hammering so fast. Fear is racing through every part of my body.

“You’ve read my message?” he shouts.

“Answer me.” I reply.

“It’s nothing.” He snatches the phonefrom my hand.

“It’s not nothing. I’m not stupid Gregory. Are you taking drugs?” Okay, I’m probably breaking about a million parenting rules right now. Some super-mum on Instagram would probably tell me to sit him down and have a cup of tea with him, but frankly I just can’t.

“I can’t believe you read my messages! That’s against my rights!”

Keep breathing, keep breathing.

“You have the right to be protected from harm by your parents. I want you to unlock your phone and let me read these messages, and then explain who this person is.” The display had shown the name Vin. I know all of his school mates and nobody is called that.

“No,” he replies and storms off to his bedroom.Fuck!

I’m exhausted and it’s only lunchtime. Yesterday was a crazy day. After Gregory stormed off to his bedroom I called Nicholas who raced to us. He was in a similar state to me and our anger caused Gregory to shut down even more. We didn’t get anywhere.

In the end, Peter kicked us both out of the room to talk to Gregory. They spent an hour together whilst Nicholas and I tried to distract ourselves by making dinner. Eventually we all calmed down enough to sit down around the table. We couldn’t read the texts because he’d deleted them but he promised us that he was not taking drugs.

My gut instinct is to lock him away at home until these awful years are over, but I can’t really do that. So insteadI just have to believe him. He apologised and he even accepted being grounded for a week for the way he spoke to me.

It didn’t quite feel like peace was back in the house, more like a very fragile ceasefire.

Josh texted late last night but I was too drained to reply. It isn’t his fault by any means, but maybe it’s just really not the right time for us.

I try to focus on the finance report on my screen, but my mind just isn’t in it. I sigh as my phone’s screen lights up.

“Hi, Nico!”

“Hey, how is our Pablo Escobar doing?” Nicholas tries to joke but I hear an unusually hard edge in his voice.

“There was some moping this morning, but no further arguments,” I sigh.

“Good. Sheila, anything you need from us, please call any time. We’re here for you and the boys!” he tries to reassure me.

“I know, but thank you anyway.”

“So, Gee also told Peter how the argument started.” Of course he did.

“Josh. I know. It was a bad idea, I should not—”

“Stop right there. That’s why I’m calling. Please listen to me. You have every right to have someone in your life, aside from the boys. Someone that makes you happy. Does he make you happy?”

I’m quiet for a few seconds. “Yes. Yes he does. More than I thought possible… But it just is not the right time.”

“It’s as good a time as ever. Sheila, since our marriage ended you’ve lived for others: for the boys, your guests, the hotel, even me. It’s time to think about yourself as well.Kieran was very excited about Josh when I called earlier. And Gee will get used to it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Kieran told me that you kicked Josh out of the house yesterday when the fight started.”

“I didn’t kick him out of the house and I think I need to tell my son to stop gossiping,” I laugh.

“He was worried. He really wants Josh’s cake apparently.” We both chuckle at that. “He wanted me to tell you he’s okay with you having a boyfriend, but he doesn’t want you to talk about mushy stuff with him.” This time we both laugh out loud. Not for the first time, I’m glad my sons have a father they can rely on.

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