“You two are my home,” he says. There’s a starkness to the statement that has the oxygen vacating my lungs.

Last week those words would have had my mind in a flurry of panic with questions of how Ari could be so sure and so soon, but after getting to know him, his words are almost expected. Ari is someone that the world moves for. He doesn’t waste time and he doesn’t mince words.

I would think it’s all overconfidence except for the thread of vulnerability in his voice that has my throat catching. Jasper’s face doesn’t emote much, but he clears his throat, pressing his face into Ari’s neck and whispering something that I’m sure are words of love.

But mostly I’m not panicking because these two have quickly become my home too.

I just need to figure out what I’m willing to do to keep them.

39

EMILIA

I breathe.The mirror in front of me is foggy from the shower, but it’s starting to clear. I haven’t spent much time looking at the snakes on my head since failing to shift them with Ari. I let myself really absorb them now. I’m alone in the bathroom. The men are letting me have a moment to shower by myself.

They’ve been so careful with me. So careful not to overwhelm me.

I want to be brave for them. A part of being brave is facing my own appearance.

The snakes don’t always slither or coil back as if to strike. Right now, the different-colored serpents are calm, coiling together. The black one that Ari pointed out during training rests its head on my collarbone, almost like it’s sleeping. The blue one that peeked out during my meeting with Rose is different. It watches me in the mirror the same as I watch it.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I don’t really know why, but at the same time, I do. They react to my emotions. If they can sense the amount of hatred I’ve held toward them… I apologize anyway. It’s not their fault that I have snakes for hair. It’s mine. Somehow Ari’s and Jasper’s Goddess thought I wanted this. She sensed a need. Chosen don’t get chosen by accident.

Either way, I opened the book and here we are. It’s not their fault they’re here.

And theyarepretty.

It’s not the way I’m used to seeing myself, but standing in front of the mirror, muscles sore from being used well and the edges of post-orgasm haze still teasing me, the rigid image of myself wavers. The colorful snakes aren’t the glossy black hair that I’d loved and shared with my mother. They make me look like something other than the human I’ve been all my life. They are different and it’s an outward symbol that I’m different.

I’m not who I was before I found out about magic.

I’m not the woman who quietly restored books and cheered on my best friend and came home to have dinner with my mom. I’m not who I was before being abducted as bait and exposed to the secrets of this world that are terrifying and awe inspiring all at once.

I’m a woman who still suffers from nightmares but wakes in the arms of two men. I can turn someone to stone with my gaze, compel them with my voice, or kill using the very snakes whose eyes glitter in the mirror in front of me.

Is it so bad to be different? Are these snakes really the curse I’ve considered them?

The blue viper headbutts my cheek and I blink rapidly at the small sign of affection.

They are a part of you,Ari had said. They’re connected to my emotions and react to everything I do. They are an extension of me, not separate entities.

I swallow. “I’m sorry I’ve rejected you,” I say, and the words echo their real meaning.

I’m sorry I’ve rejected myself.The serpents are me. They are this new me. This Chosen that has not one but two mates.

Even if I’m successful in becoming un-Chosen, becoming human, I will be different. There’s no going back to who I was before, and the grief of that loss is hard to take. I yearn for the simplicity of being that Emilia, but would I sacrifice Ari and Jasper to be her again?

Sacrificing them won’t bring my naivety back. It would only return me to the fearful woman I was before this whole adventure with being Chosen began.

I don’t think I want to go back. I look at the woman in front of me and visualize a version of myself who is strong and unafraid of the world around me. Yes, the anxiety that I struggle with is still there, but it’s not the all-consuming fear of expecting every person around me to be a terrible malicious being.

I close my eyes. I’m in control of my powers, of my appearance.

The serpents hiss and it sounds like acknowledgment before the sound stops and the smooth constant of wavy hair takes the place of their slithering bodies.

My breath shudders from disbelief when I open my eyes. The snakes are gone. In their place is the hair that I’ve had and worked to tame all my life.

But they aren’t really gone. They’re still with me. They are the brightness of my emotions, my quick reactions. Everything that I’ve kept small and quiet before is amplified.