Page 112 of Entranced By the Basilisks

My heart lurches in my chest and the fermented contents of my stomach slosh nauseatingly as I fling myself upward from where I’m sprawled on the couch—the same couch we’d watched movies together as a triad.

“Emilia?”

“Not quite. That will be all, Thomas, thank you for the escort,” Mrs. Rivera tells my doorman in a tone that brooks no argument.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll just go, if that’s okay, Mr. Zeyad?”

I snort. Poor man. I make a wave in the air before realizing that neither of them can see it. “Yes, it’s fine.” Did my words slur?

Mrs. Rivera tuts and turns the lights on as she forges her path into my domain.

“Welcome to my home,” I say as hollowly as I feel. This is not a home anymore. It was for a fraction of time when Emilia and Jasper were staying here, but now it’s just an apartment. This is a place. The bottle in one hand gets precariously close to spilling and I squint at Mrs. Rivera’s raised brow.

“I didn’t think you paranormal beings could get drunk,” she says.

“Not easily.” I burp. “My apologies.”

The bottle in my grip is one of many I’ve emptied. When the service delivering them cut me off, I moved to another one. Running out of the liquid numbing agent isn’t what I fear even though it means that the grief will hit me anew.

I fear that I’ve broken everything. I’d grabbed at the sun and the stars, only to shatter the natural way they move throughout the skies and fall back to earth, shards of a distant dream in hand. I had a family. After so long alone, I had mates.

And I ruined everything.

Mrs. Rivera doesn’t say anything to interrupt my mental wallowing. She only stares at me. I should bounce up and be charming, explain away the bottles of alcohol strewn around the room, but I just don’t have the energy. My will walked out the door when Emilia did. My pride followed soon after when Jasper packed up both of their things and left after her.

They’re lost to me now.

Logistically, I know where they are. Jasper is at his library. I hope his work is giving him more comfort than the bottle in my hand is giving me. And Emilia is at her apartment. Jasper’s father actually let me know that he’s watching out for her.

I’m not too worried that one of our kind will try something with an unbound Chosen. The last to unduly try and influence a Chosen had been skinned. Repeatedly. It was a much darker time then, and our people feared how few Chosen were being selected.

I hope I’m not going to get skinned, but it’s not off the table. No matter how favored I am by the head of the Circle, one does not trick a Chosen. I’d skirted the line with having her stay in this apartment. Anyone sane would have presented her to the Circle in an instant.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” I ask, my debonair flair flat and listless.

“Is this how you’re going to make amends? Flat on your back with enough alcohol to preserve a snake?”

My lips twist, but I’m sober enough not to quip about being good flat on my back to my mate’s mother.

“And how do I make amends? I’ve ruined it all,” I say.

Mrs. Rivera arches a brow. “From what I understand, there wouldn’t have been anything to ruin without you.”

I shrug. “I lied to them both. I manipulated them mercilessly to get what I wanted.”

She sits on the armrest of the couch, and I pull myself onto my elbows to keep her in my line of sight.

“Someday,” she says. “When the hurt isn’t so sharp, Emilia is going to need you and you need to be lucid for when that time comes.”

That’s a beautiful fantasy.

“There’s no reason that she’d need me. There’s no way that she can trust me,” I reply.

“Why is that?”

“Because I’d do it again.” And that’s the real kicker. There’s not a doubt in my mind that if I could run the sands of time backward and the cards were dealt the exact same way… I’d still have done what I’d done. I’d have lied to Emilia and kept her and Jasper close to nurture the relationship I knew we could have.

I’m broken. It’s only fitting that I broke those that are most precious to me.

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