Page 74 of Take What You Want

“Is that all?”

“Yep.”

“Hmm.”

We haven’t spoken much since his pop-up show. The house is big enough that we can avoid each other if we want to, and he’s been spending most of his nights in the studio while I spend most of my days working with Arun and my new clients.

My head has been a mess, replaying our conversation that night and his confession. That he loved me. That he wants me to fight for this. Forus.

I want to. So fucking badly. But I also know that I can’t trust that he won’t decide one day that this isn’t what he wants. ThatI’mnot what he wants. I can’t go through it again.

So I knew I needed a distraction this weekend and to let loose, forgetting about responsibilities and Nikolai. And luckily, Carter and Scar were all too happy to agree to get together for a night.

A text from Scar wondering where I am lights up my phone, and I shoot back that I’m leaving now. “I gotta go,” I say to Nikolai, striding toward the door. “Don’t wait up.”

“Jane—”

I toss a wave over my shoulder and grab the keys to the car that Nikolai’s been letting me use. We’re meeting at Scar and my brother’s house since they’re the closest to downtown and then we’ll take a car from there.

By the time I meet up with them and we make our way to the club for the evening, thoughts of Nikolai and the state we’re in settle to the recess of my mind.

“To girls night out!”Carter shouts above the music and raises her shot glass. I clink it with my own shot of tequila while Scarjoins in with her Red Bull. We echo her sentiment and I toss back the liquor. It’s warm as it glides down my throat and I twist my lips, shivering as it settles at the top of my stomach. Am I getting too old for tequila shots?

“I’m so happy you were both in the city this weekend. It seems like you’re always all across the country,” I say to them.

Scar plays with the ends of her long hair, the purple ends barely noticeable in the dark lighting. “I know, I’m in need of a serious break.”

“You’re crushing it though,” Carter reassures her, then says to me, “You should see the kind of crowds she’s drawing now. Each show is getting bigger and bigger.” She beams as she tells me about the latest show that she photographed for Scar but when I look at her, she doesn’t seem excited about her growing success.

If anything, she looks worried. Distracted.

Different from the usual calm, cool, and collected Scar I’ve grown used to.

I open my mouth to ask her if everything’s okay, but as if sensing my question, her eyes dart to mine and I stop. She narrows her gaze and subtly shakes her head as frown lines mar her forehead.

I glance at Carter to see if she’s picking up on this but she’s distracted by the throngs of people on the dance floor. It’s packed tonight, making the entire room bleed into one huge mass of wriggling bodies. Music thumps throughout the large space, echoing off the two-story ceilings. The upper level is a VIP only area but since we aren’t with any of the guys tonight, we’re sticking to the lower level.

Deciding to drop the subject, I instead say, “Thank you both for coming out. I needed this.”

“Stressful week at work? How’re you liking working for Arun?” Carter asks as she adjusts the straps on her red top that matches the colors of her lips.

“He’s great. So much better than my boss back home.” I snort at the comparison between Chester and Arun.

A cocktail waitress steps up to our table and deposits a round of drinks.

“We didn’t?—”

She points over her shoulder to two men sitting at the end of the bar. “From the guys over there. Don’t worry, I brought them straight over once they were made. Have a good night, ladies.” She rushes off without another word.

Carter nervously looks over toward the guys and then ducks her head down. “We can’t accept these. Should I take them back over?”

“Fuck no,” Scar says at the same time I say, “Absolutely not. A free drink is a free drink.”

Carter spins her half-empty glass in her hand. “I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be weird for me and Scar to accept them? Wouldn’t Walker care?”

Scar scoffs and pushes the drink for her toward me. “Well for one, I won’t try this ’cause I don’t trust that it wouldn’t have alcohol in it. But otherwise, I doubt he’d care. It’s not like I’m going to talk to the guys just because they bought us drinks. We didn’t ask them to. We don’t owe them anything.”

I grab one of the glasses, which looks like a vodka cranberry, and take a sip.Delicious. “Yeah, it’s not like you asked them for a drink. And plus, I really don’t think Hayden would care.”

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