“What?”
“Sure it isn’t because you still love him?”
I rear back. “Absolutely not.”
He sniffs out the lie and we both know it. He opens his mouth to call me out but I rush to continue, to deflect, to take a page of his book and throw it back at him. “Just because we haven’t talked about it, doesn’t mean that I agree with what you’ve done to Scar. How you talk to Hayden.”
A muscle tics in his jaw, and he looks away.
“I didn’t shut Walker down for you, Reid. There’s one person we both want to protect, and that’s what I’ll continue to do.”
“Even though he’ll never love you back?”
His words send a bullet straight through my heart, stealing the breath from my lungs. I grip the doorframe.
“Fuck,” he mutters, “I didn’t—It was a kneejerk reaction. It’s been a fucking night?—”
I hold my hand up, cutting him off. “You know you’re going to look around soon and realize you pushed away everyone that gives a shit about you. You’ve done it with my brother, you’ve done it with Hayden, and now, is it my turn?”
He grits his teeth, looking like he wants to lash out again, relishing in the anger that comes easy to him and rise to the challenge because that’s where he finds his comfort. But he glances over my shoulder and seems to rethink it. Without another word, he stalks outside and slams his car door with more force than necessary. He peels out of the driveway and speeds away.
“What was that about?” Nikolai asks, placing a hand at the small of my back. I step away from his touch and put a few feet between us.
He looks wounded at my response to him and that only pisses me off more. He doesn’t get to be the one who looks sadabout the way things are. If he wanted the right to touch me, he shouldn’t have taken me for granted.
“Nothing.”
“It didn’t seem like nothing. Did he say something to you?”
I shake my head, exhausted. With a resigned sigh, I say, “Nothing I didn’t already know.”
15
JANE
Ihate how much I love the way his cologne clings to every inch of this room, like it’s infected by him, and in turn, infecting me. It smells like home and familiarity and comfort but also hurt and tainted memories and the pain of words left unsaid.
On his part; not mine.
I don’t want to inhale deeper when I roll over and my nose hits the pillow at night, but I do. I can’t help it. I’ve never been able to when it comes to him.
This move was the right one for me, but staying under his roof, so close yet so far, is more painful than I anticipated.
I thought I had moved past him. Past us.
Hell, I was with Liam for years and despite the ending to that relationship, there were happy times there. And Nikolai and I had regrown our friendship and I thought that’s all it would ever be.
All it ever could be.
And I was alright with that. I still am.
Right?
But then I remember the warmth of his body, the weight of his hand on my thigh, the comfortable silence we held each other in while sitting on the floor of his booth…
I shake those thoughts from my mind as I smooth my hands over the front of my dress. It’s black and silky, held up by flimsy straps that still manage to keep my chest fairly contained. The hem sits just below the knee, but there’s a small slit on the left side. I paired it with my favorite strappy heels and a red lip.
It’s a little much for just a pop-up show, but I haven’t had an occasion to be able to dress up in a while and I’m taking full advantage of it tonight. I even went and got a blow out, so my hair hangs in large, loose curls around my shoulders.