Page 120 of Take What You Want

“I-I’m not, I’m with Nikolai,” I stutter.

Reid cocks his head in Nikolai’s direction. “What do you think? One last time for old time’s sake?”

My mouth falls open as it looks like Nikolai is actually considering this. ThatI’meven excited at the idea of it.

“It’s not my decision,” he says, his voice thick and his cheeks flushed a bright red.

“Are you drunk?” I can’t stop myself from asking, and he chuckles.

“No,” he says.

“Then how are you not bothered by this? Your best friend is hitting on me right in front of you!” I feel slightly crazy that I seem to be the only one finding this strange.

Nikolai runs a hand through his hair, brushing it back from his forehead. “I’m not threatened by him trying to steal you from me, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Reid makes a sound of agreement as he chews another bite of food. Glad one of us is still enjoying our meal because both Nikolai and I have abandoned our dinner.

“And we can forget this whole conversation even happened if you want. But I’m not going to lie to you and say that I don’t kinda love the idea of it.”

“Of what?” My words are barely a whisper.

Nikolai leans forward, planting his elbows on his knees as our eyes lock. Shivers race down my spine as he says, “The three of us. Just this once. You're both the most important people in my life. You’ve seen me at my darkest, at my lowest, and you both refused to give up on me.”

“If you want this, just this one time, now’s your chance,” Reid tells me. “If he’s going to be your forever, then this happens here and now or never.”

Nikolai watches me carefully andcuriously. His pupils are blown and lips are slightly parted. “You’d be okay with that? With him touching me? With sharing me?” I thought it might bother me, but for some reason, and maybe because it’s Reid, it doesn’t.

Nikolai shakes his head, his heated gaze not leaving my own. He echoes my own thoughts. “With him?” He points at Reid. “No. But only because it’s him, and I trust him. And I know you do, too.”

I do. Reid may have broken my brother's trust and Scar’s but he hasn’t broken mine. Or Nikolai’s.

But to do something like this? I’ve never even considered the possibility. For so many years, I was worried about finding even one person that would think I was beautiful enough to sleep with and then once I was with Nikolai, I thought he’d be mine forever.But that shattered and then Liam came into the picture. When that fell apart too, I still never thought about it.

Two men. My first love and his best friend. One of my oldest friends.

The three of us have history and could this put a close to some of it as Nikolai and I move into whatever this new chapter is? Would this ruin things?

But judging by the hungry looks on each of their faces, I don’t think it will. I wasn’t wrong in my assessment years ago that I could be with Reid and part with no strings attached. That still holds true I think and I know my heart belongs to one person only.

“I don’t care if you want to prove something to yourself or to him or whatever reason you may be coming up with in your head to justify it.” Reid shrugs casually. “But I can see the idea excites you.” His eyes trail down my body from my parted lips to my heaving chest. “And I know it excites him.” He looks at Nikolai and gives him the same slow perusal. “This stays between us. It wouldn’t be the first secret we keep.”

It wouldn’t.

My heart races and blood roars in my ears. The room seems to be closing in until the presence of the two of them is so overwhelming I can’t think straight. And maybe I don’t want to think straight. I just want to feel.

I’m always making plans and checking boxes. I’m prepared and logical and always take the time to think things over before making a decision.

But I don’t want to think.

Fuck it.

“I want this.”

It’sa blur as to how the three of us get from the living room up to one of Nikolai’s guest rooms. Nikolai led the way and as we passed his bedroom and I faltered, waiting for him to take us in there, he shot over his shoulder, “That’s just for the two of us.”

So instead, we stand in a guest room overlooking the lush backyard and hills of the city. The sun has gone down, leaving the stars to shine light into the darkened room. I’m grateful for the low lighting. If it was brighter, I might rethink this. Rethink of Reid seeing me naked and being so exposed between the two of them.

Reid leans against the dresser on one side of the room, facing the bed. He crosses his long arms as if he’s waiting for something. I look at Nikolai, waiting to follow his lead.

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